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[abandonhumanity]

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[neighsaying]

Who's going to stop me from doing it?

[abandonhumanity]

I'm not going to fight you over a bulletin board. You'll just make an idiot of yourself.

[neighsaying]

Maybe, but it's the little things that I enjoy. Like drawing stupid pictures of you and the cat.

I'll put something nicer in your lunch.

[abandonhumanity]

Draw more, then. You like it, don't you?

[He recalls a trip to the Labyrinth, and a sordid art class. Jean's didn't look all that bad, did it?]

[neighsaying]

I do. I'm not as good as Mikasa at it, but it's fun anyway. Can't get better without practice, either.

[abandonhumanity]

[It never gets easier to hear her name, nor does it get any easier to see it written out. Eren's gotten a lot better at taking a punch, at least.]

It's like I said. Draw, then. More than those stupid doodles. I'd like to see it.

[neighsaying]

[ He tries not to bring her up too much, but he doesn't want to pretend as if she was never here, either. ]

What if I drew you? Properly, not a little sketch.

When you leave, eventually, I'll have a picture of you, then. Not just a photo.

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren feels embittered - thinks to himself that Jean probably would rather remember him than have him close. It's an unfair thought, maybe, but it crosses his mind nonetheless.]

You'd value that more?

I suppose it makes sense. We aren't used to things like photos. They still seem strange to me even now.

I'd let you. If you wanted.

[neighsaying]

A photo is good. But there's something special about a drawing. You put a part of yourself into it, and it reflects what you love most about the person.

I'd rather just have you. But can you truthfully say you wouldn't leave this place if you had a chance?

I don't want to hold you back. So instead, I'll draw you.

[abandonhumanity]

[No, Eren can't truthfully say he wouldn't want to stay in this place. He wouldn't lie about it either. Anyone who asks would get the same answer. The brief period of time where he considered something different was based entirely on fear. He isn't made for walls.]

I hadn't brought up leaving. If you want to draw me, you can.

I get it.

[Plenty of people have left them behind. He gets it. He just knows that it will be a relief once he is gone for good.]

Just tell me what to do.

[neighsaying]

Eren.

I know I don't know you the best, but I do know you. I love you as you are. You fought with Mikasa, once, about last names. You thought we'd be happier if you were gone and we could be together.

We weren't. We told you we missed you and that's why we wanted to be with you here.

Come over when you can. I'll be in our room.

( > action )

[abandonhumanity]

[Jean's reassurances seem to come out of nowhere. Eren hasn't exactly been forthcoming with his feelings lately. He feels nearly cornered, confused. He doesn't bother responding. He isn't doing much, so he heads back to the farmhouse. When he steps through the bedroom door, he looks half-annoyed, uncertain. He closes it behind him.]

What's gotten into you?

[neighsaying]

I want to draw?

[ He's playing a little obtuse, a sketchbook sitting on his lap with a pencil. He tilts his head at Eren, giving him a half annoyed look in turn. ]

You're the one who offered to pose.

[abandonhumanity]

[Eh...?

[Eren...blinks.]

You meant right now. [Statement, not question, but also? A question?]

I just...stand here?

[neighsaying]

[ Sarcastically: ] Unless you're busy.

[ He shifts over, patting the bed where the sunbeam hits it. ]

I won't make you stand that long, come lay down. It'll be easier on you, and you can rest a while.

[abandonhumanity]

[It feels sudden - casual conversation converted to action. Eren hadn't thought too deeply about the could-be portrait session. It's a uniquely exposing feeling. He feels awkward, uncertain; hesitates at the door in a stalled fluster, then comes inside and sits on the bed. He kicks off his shoes, then takes off his coat and his shirt. Jean can make fun of him for showing off his abs all he wants, but if he's going to be drawn, he wants to look...good.]

How am I supposed to lay?

[neighsaying]

[ Jean seized on the idea; this likely won't be the drawing he actually keeps, given he'd just denigrated his own drawing skill. But seeing Eren the tiniest bit flustered, it feels worth it to have asked.

His gaze rakes over Eren - because while Jean should make fun of him, he cuts an attractive figure. He keeps his hands in his metaphorical pants, though.

He almost says Eren doesn't need to pose, can lay however he feels - but then he reconsiders. Maybe that gives the impression he doesn't care. Instead, he offers: ]

Lay like you would if we were talking face to face in the bed.

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren's mouth tugs awkwardly. He glances at his corner of the bed.]

It's weird to do it without you actually lying down. [Drawled in that dry voice.

[He hesitates another few seconds, then scoots in on his side. Talking face to face in bed, they'd normally have their arms around each other, but there's obviously no way of doing that, so...he puts one arm behind his head and lets the other lay across the bed where Jean should be. He bends his knees at the angles he recalls from wrapping their legs together.

[He can't quite look at him.]

This is embarrassing...

[neighsaying]

I can go get a chicken for you to cuddle.

[ Drawled right back, Jean's tone is full of affectionate teasing. He watches Eren arrange himself, putting an arm behind his head like some kind of french girl model from the interior.

Even with the awkward expression, he looks cute. Jean is so insufferably fond of him; it might show in how his expression softens a little as he looks at Eren. ]

It doesn't look embarrassing, if it helps at all.

[ His gaze drops to the paper, starting to sketch, but he keeps talking. ]

I don't think we ever did this, before. You took - still take - a lot of photos, though.

[abandonhumanity]

I think I'd remember this. [Though, with his memory, who knows.]

Seeing photos lets me piece things together. That's why.

[neighsaying]

What else helps? Scent, touch?

[ It's a genuine question. Jean has mostly narrated things that happened, but he's not sure if Eren wants to rely solely on Jean's recollection of things. ]

[abandonhumanity]

It's hard to say. [Scent and touch can be just as disorienting as they are grounding.]

Mostly just talking, I guess. And those photos.

I've started using that camera again too.

[neighsaying]

[ Color Jean corrected, then. ]

Good. You should keep doing that - if I'm going to draw, you should keep taking pictures.

[ Jean flicks his eyes up, over the paper again, pencil stilling for a moment as he takes Eren in. After he's had his fill, or found what he's looking for, he resumes drawing. ]

Remember the first time I tried to make a soufflé?

[ They thought there was no way opening the stove early would ruin it... ]

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren searches. Jean's cooked a lot here. There's nothing clear, but...]

It wasn't here.

In that cottage. All three of us...

[neighsaying]

Yeah. She told us we should have followed the recipe instead of getting impatient.

[ There's a fond smile on Jean's face as he keeps sketching. ]

It still tasted good, though.