[Eren was a light sleeper before he left Visium, but he's historically been a heavy one, and he finds sleep a lot easier these days. When Maruki turns toward him, Eren's arms find their way around at new angles, his eyes never opening as he yanks the man against his chest, then rolls onto his back, dragging Maruki with him. He mumbles a kiss against the other man's chin.]
But it's not. Eren kissed him again, unmistakably, undoubtedly. Maruki settles comfortably on top of him, a deadened sleepy weight, and tucks his face down into the curve of Eren's neck while that sinks in. ]
Good morning...
[ He really could fall back asleep like this, held warm and safe atop Eren, but he fights against the impulse to close his eyes. Only blinks into the darkness, lashes brushing against Eren's skin. ]
I feel like I got hit by a truck, and not because I drank too much this time. [ How long were they even at that party? Dear god, he feels like he lived lifetimes there. ] Yesterday was intense.
[Eren breathes, long and slow beneath Maruki, his own lashes still pressed down against his cheeks.]
I had to take you there...
[The Paths? Or some other reality. Eren isn't sure. He dreamt they saw everything, but it wasn't a dream, Maruki says. He could still be dreaming now. His brows crease as he opens his eyes, bleary, still glassy with sleep. His fingers start moving along Maruki's spine.]
[ He does pick his head up then, props up to look down at Eren curiously, fingers now carding deliberately through his hair. A soothing motion, slow and methodical. ]
[Eren's hands momentarily leave Maruki's back, just to touch either side of his face. It's brief, but tender. He tilts his head slightly to the side where it lays against the pillow, just to see him from another angle.]
After we take control of this reality, I figured I'd see you in some place. Like...
We could look at everything and choose where to go next. Or something...
[Eren's eyes fall heavily closed again, though, this time, they strain behind the lids.]
It's happened. It will. I think...I've already been there before. Well...
[His mind is starting to spin. He forces his eyes open and takes Maruki's face again, thumbs stroking. Eren's expression softens, and it's impossibly genuine, more telling than a smile.]
You already know my answer, don't you? Which would you choose?
[ Since his return, Eren has always softened more around him than almost anyone else, but this sort of tenderness in his gaze is entirely new. Maruki's fingers still in his hair as his face is held, thumbs skating over morning-stubbled cheeks as he blinks dumbly without his glasses. ]
Your answer...
[ He only has to think about it for a few moments. ]
[ There is truly only one person in all known universes who could convince Maruki that he would be perfectly content in a world devoid of everything and everyone but him. Eren says it, and Maruki believes it, against all reason. ]
Then that's where we'll go. That's what we'll do.
[ He leans a cheek one of Eren's palms, almost unconsciously. ]
[They're alone now, and it's perfect. He could pretend the world is empty, lying here, just like this. And, no, he really isn't one to smile, but his voice can sound warm, and it does sound warm. It's only for Maruki.]
I want you to tell me everything. I want you to talk until you lose your voice. I'll listen every day.
I'll hunt for you. I'll chop would and build us a home.
We'll want for nothing. It'll all be ours...
That sounds nice...right?
[Only a dream, but, no, it isn't. Eren believes it. When's the last time he believed in something?]
Snow falls silently outside, as ever. Time and memory and space and reality are already mutable things, all the more so after his experiences in the alcove last night. He has one foot in that empty world with Eren, alone in a wooded glen with no one to answer to but one another, and the other back in Tokyo, brushing snow out of his hair on the way to his alma mater.
He lays his head back down then, noses at Eren's cheek idly. ]
Mhmm. [A simple, sleepy answer to an obvious question. They want an empty world, don't they? This place is always empty, save for them...
[He doesn't think Aubrey will mind it. He'll make some mention of it when he sees her later today...]
[He turns his face when Maruki nudges it, casually capturing his lips in a brief, chaste kiss. He brushes the tips of their noses together. Maruki's is cold...]
[ Maruki wants to say something about the temperature, his own lifelong poor internal regulation thereof, bad circulation, getting older, also his back can't handle sleeping just on piles of pillows, but– ]
You– um.
[ He may be cold, but his cheeks heat up easily. ]
[He runs a soothing hand over Maruki's back, struck with the sensation that he would have laughed, were it years ago - months ago? Something like that...]
[ The soothing is appreciated, and much needed, but Maruki doesn't pick his head up. When he speaks, the words are muffled into Eren's shirt. ]
If you don't count anything else that happened underneath that mistletoe – and I certainly don't...
[ Oh, god. ]
Ah. Um.
[ Kill him. ]
I mean... I've only kissed two people before you. [ He doesn't have to explain it. Right? Rumi. Venat. That's it. ] It sounds lame to say it's a big deal to me, but...
[Maruki can't see it, but Eren frowns, just a little. He nudges the back of the man's head in an attempt to get him to lift it - he wants to look him in the eyes, lenseless and squinting as they are.]
[ With enough nudging, he does lift his head and meet Eren's gaze, his own eyes squinting a bit to get him in focus. It only sort of works when they're this close. ]
I might just need... to slow down a little. I don't know what I'm doing. [ A weak laugh, mirthless. ] At all. To say the least.
[Eren can't help it, really, the way his face falls. Now, he's the one that wants to hide. His fingers curl again against Maruki's back, over and over.]
Okay.
[That's fine. It's fine, but...]
You meant what you said. Didn't you? [Not because Eren doesn't believe him. What they experienced was undeniable, but still...there are so many, he thinks, who would rather not claim him if they had the choice. Maruki has less choice than anyone.]
I...won't kiss you first. If that's what you want. [Which feels...miserable, but...necessary, maybe.]
[ Oh, Maruki hates to see his expression shift like that. He drags his fingers through Eren's hair until he can curve his palm over the top of his head, pushing it back off his face again and again, a nervous motion. ]
I meant it. I really did. And I do want you to. Trust me.
[ He feels like a starved man being presented with a banquet. He craves affection so badly, always has, and there are those in Somnius who will give it to him so freely, at a level he hasn't experienced in– too long, and in some cases, ever. Maruki could gorge himself on it until he's sick.
He presses his lips together in a line, brows pinching in as he tries to find his words, then tries again. ]
Would you hate it if I said I'd feel much more comfortable if we only did that in here...?
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no subject
G'morn...
no subject
But it's not. Eren kissed him again, unmistakably, undoubtedly. Maruki settles comfortably on top of him, a deadened sleepy weight, and tucks his face down into the curve of Eren's neck while that sinks in. ]
Good morning...
[ He really could fall back asleep like this, held warm and safe atop Eren, but he fights against the impulse to close his eyes. Only blinks into the darkness, lashes brushing against Eren's skin. ]
I feel like I got hit by a truck, and not because I drank too much this time. [ How long were they even at that party? Dear god, he feels like he lived lifetimes there. ] Yesterday was intense.
no subject
I had to take you there...
[The Paths? Or some other reality. Eren isn't sure. He dreamt they saw everything, but it wasn't a dream, Maruki says. He could still be dreaming now. His brows crease as he opens his eyes, bleary, still glassy with sleep. His fingers start moving along Maruki's spine.]
No, that...wasn't me. Was it? Maybe...
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[ He reaches up with one hand, taps blindly against Eren's temple, then starts fiddling with loose strands of hair that frame his face. ]
The alcove. Remember? It was us. Several versions of us.
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In my head, though...
[His fingers curl and uncurl against Maruki's shoulder blades.]
I just thought...I'd end up doing that myself, once I could...
After all this...
[He's thought about it - more than once - endlessly.]
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What do you mean?
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After we take control of this reality, I figured I'd see you in some place. Like...
We could look at everything and choose where to go next. Or something...
That place...was really just like I pictured it.
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I see what you're saying now. That's the kind of thing I like to daydream about too...
[ A control room, of sorts. One might even say a control room connected to the collective unconscious of all humanity. What? Anyway.
He stays propped up, gingerly stretching out his back a little, and traces his fingertips over Eren's forehead. ]
What sort of reality would you choose next? If you could, I mean.
no subject
[Eren's eyes fall heavily closed again, though, this time, they strain behind the lids.]
It's happened. It will. I think...I've already been there before. Well...
[His mind is starting to spin. He forces his eyes open and takes Maruki's face again, thumbs stroking. Eren's expression softens, and it's impossibly genuine, more telling than a smile.]
You already know my answer, don't you? Which would you choose?
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Your answer...
[ He only has to think about it for a few moments. ]
An empty world. Right?
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That part is important.
Honestly...
I'm tired of everything else.
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Then that's where we'll go. That's what we'll do.
[ He leans a cheek one of Eren's palms, almost unconsciously. ]
We'll rest.
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[They're alone now, and it's perfect. He could pretend the world is empty, lying here, just like this. And, no, he really isn't one to smile, but his voice can sound warm, and it does sound warm. It's only for Maruki.]
I want you to tell me everything. I want you to talk until you lose your voice. I'll listen every day.
I'll hunt for you. I'll chop would and build us a home.
We'll want for nothing. It'll all be ours...
That sounds nice...right?
[Only a dream, but, no, it isn't. Eren believes it. When's the last time he believed in something?]
no subject
[ Much more. It sounds–
Well.
Ideal.
Snow falls silently outside, as ever. Time and memory and space and reality are already mutable things, all the more so after his experiences in the alcove last night. He has one foot in that empty world with Eren, alone in a wooded glen with no one to answer to but one another, and the other back in Tokyo, brushing snow out of his hair on the way to his alma mater.
He lays his head back down then, noses at Eren's cheek idly. ]
For now, can we come here more often?
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[He doesn't think Aubrey will mind it. He'll make some mention of it when he sees her later today...]
[He turns his face when Maruki nudges it, casually capturing his lips in a brief, chaste kiss. He brushes the tips of their noses together. Maruki's is cold...]
I'll bring more blankets...
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You– um.
[ He may be cold, but his cheeks heat up easily. ]
You keep kissing me...?
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I do.
[. . .]
Do you want me to stop?
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[ Oh, he's burning red hot. ]
I haven't– oh, my god. This is too embarrassing. Never mind.
[ Face immediately buried down into Eren's shoulder. NEVER MIND. ]
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[He runs a soothing hand over Maruki's back, struck with the sensation that he would have laughed, were it years ago - months ago? Something like that...]
Haven't what? You can tell me...
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If you don't count anything else that happened underneath that mistletoe – and I certainly don't...
[ Oh, god. ]
Ah. Um.
[ Kill him. ]
I mean... I've only kissed two people before you. [ He doesn't have to explain it. Right? Rumi. Venat. That's it. ] It sounds lame to say it's a big deal to me, but...
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It's a big deal to me too. A really big deal.
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I might just need... to slow down a little. I don't know what I'm doing. [ A weak laugh, mirthless. ] At all. To say the least.
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[Eren can't help it, really, the way his face falls. Now, he's the one that wants to hide. His fingers curl again against Maruki's back, over and over.]
Okay.
[That's fine. It's fine, but...]
You meant what you said. Didn't you? [Not because Eren doesn't believe him. What they experienced was undeniable, but still...there are so many, he thinks, who would rather not claim him if they had the choice. Maruki has less choice than anyone.]
I...won't kiss you first. If that's what you want. [Which feels...miserable, but...necessary, maybe.]
no subject
[ Oh, Maruki hates to see his expression shift like that. He drags his fingers through Eren's hair until he can curve his palm over the top of his head, pushing it back off his face again and again, a nervous motion. ]
I meant it. I really did. And I do want you to. Trust me.
[ He feels like a starved man being presented with a banquet. He craves affection so badly, always has, and there are those in Somnius who will give it to him so freely, at a level he hasn't experienced in– too long, and in some cases, ever. Maruki could gorge himself on it until he's sick.
He presses his lips together in a line, brows pinching in as he tries to find his words, then tries again. ]
Would you hate it if I said I'd feel much more comfortable if we only did that in here...?
oh? OH? ears go UP? OH?
We can. We should. Okay.
[And really...]
It's no one else's business. [Not a matter of "claiming" but a matter of privacy - that makes more sense...]
EARS GO UP TAIL SWISH
are you ready for this?
NO. NOT AT ALL
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(no subject)
we can wrap here or on your next one I feel sick
(no subject)