You should remind me how to take one. I liked having them.
[Meaning, yes, he absolutely wants to take a picture of Maruki in this outfit while he can, but it's not just that.
[They were memories you could hold. Pictures of Subaru and Mikasa are still hung up on the wall in he and Jean's bedroom. He took those photos himself. It matters...]
The ones I've seen have helped me to remember. If we're going to do everything, we should have photos of it for that reason, if nothing else.
[ Don't have to ask him twice. Maruki pulls the phone from his back pocket, pauses for a moment. There are so many photos of Eren on here, that will hopefully jog so many memories, but–
Now isn't the time. Later.
He opens up the camera app and leans over the counter to show Eren. ]
Tap this part of the screen with your finger and it'll take a picture. You can hold it upright or sideways, whatever you want.
[ And then he backs off, almost poses, but remembers–
Eren in Eyn Sof, waiting to capture him with his Polaroid in a candid moment.
So after a beat, he simply returns to cabbage slicing. ]
[Some found it funny that Eren put so much stock into an outdated camera, but he took his photos with care. They weren't particularly impressive - he was the definition of an amateur, but he really tried. He still does, tilting the phone this way and that, trying to tap the button at the right moment. He'd like to capture his friend just as he is, but even this type of camera can't do that. He tries to make the photo look nice, then. He forgets to talk - too focused.]
[ For a while, Maruki doesn't talk either. He lets Eren focus on snapping photo after photo as he moves about the kitchen. He isn't consciously trying to smile, but it's there anyway.
Eventually, though, he does speak. ]
It takes videos too. So you can watch them back later. I've got some funny ones I'll show you sometime.
[Eren tilts his head, still watching Maruki through the camera. He can see the video option labeled, so he switches over. He's filmed before on the same phone that he has now, but it's different, and he hasn't since he got back.]
Now it's on video.
I remember making these before. Only for communication.
[ Maruki glances up, grins at the phone pointed at him and waves. An awkward, dorky motion before he finishes incorporating the cabbage into the batter and moves to preheat the griddle pans. ]
Do you? I can't recall you doing that too often, but you must have. Maybe more before my time here...
[ Strange to think that there was a time before they knew one another. Or– well, no, maybe they did, and that meeting in dreams was just to jog their memory. Hard to tell. ]
Next time I come to the farm, I'll show you how to use your camera again. I think you'll like having the physical photos even more than this.
[ Maruki stills for a brief moment, sudden guilt pooling in his gut.
He'll cop to that later, though. Okonomiyaki batter pours into the pans and he keeps his eyes on them as he nods along. ]
That's a good point. The only things that are likely guaranteed to be safe are what you can hold in your hands.
[ He rubs at his jaw, eyes on the bubbling batter. ]
It's one of the reasons I knew you weren't gone, beyond just our promise. I went and looked through your things when I was the only one at the farm. Everything was still there.
[Eren's belongings are, indeed, just as he left them. That wouldn't be the first time someone left something behind and didn't return, though. Maruki must know that.
[He's been certain in their promise, and he has reason to be. Eren did return. On some level, that had to be intentional. He knows that their fight isn't done.
[But Eren knows he must have doubted, must have feared. He comforted himself with their word, with Eren's belongings - comforted others, too, but who helped carry that weight? Who carried him?
[Eren lowers the camera, tired of watching his friend through a lens. He lays the phone down flat on the table, though, he doesn't realize he hasn't stopped recording.]
[ Maruki looks back over his shoulder, brows drawn down. There's almost no one else he'd be honest with, but– ]
Of course I was afraid.
[ Quietly, plainly stated. There's not a single barb present. It wasn't Eren's fault that he left, and it certainly wasn't his fault that Maruki couldn't comfort himself with the same things he told everyone else. ]
I knew you'd return. But I was still afraid. Doesn't make sense, does it?
Edited (SpongeBob began kissing Obama, massaging one of his many holes. This got Shrek hard too, which caused his massive 24" cock to pop out of his pants.) 2024-10-08 01:02 (UTC)
[ It's not the first time that Maruki has thought Eren is a far better friend than he deserves. The level of understanding they've reached is unique to them. There are few who simply accept Maruki's neuroses, lightly challenge them simply by virtue of listening and validating. Maruki can count those who can do that on one hand, really, and one of those people isn't even here.
It's also not for the first time that he's wished Akira and Eren could meet. ]
That's exactly it. Thank you...
[ Gratitude isn't enough. He doesn't know what would be enough.
Eyes back on the pans, spatula gently testing the edges to see if they're ready to flip. ]
Can I be honest with you? [ It's rhetorical. ] I worried that something went wrong every night. It was such a helpless situation, it was driving me crazy.
[ If anyone, anyone will understand the unique lunacy of being toyed with by reality and being unable to toy with it back, it will be Eren. ]
[He does understand. It feels that all he can do is repeat it - I understand, I understand - because it's such a unique hell. Eren is quiet for a long moment, eyes on the counter, where he idly raps his knuckles.
[At last, he speaks, voice quieter than it was a moment before.]
In most realities, when someone goes away, it means they're dead. You'll never see them again.
Here, returning to our true realities is the closest thing to death we know. But even that isn't necessarily permanent.
There's no telling when someone might appear right next to you again. Every moment you're looking over your shoulder, checking your phone. It would drive anyone insane.
Maruki. I'm sorry. [And, because he thinks he knows what the response will be:] That you had to go through it at all. It's Hell...
He laughs. Subdued, softened, tight in his throat. ]
Not while I'm flipping okonomiyaki, you little– ah, hold on–
[ He rushes through flipping the second one, a little less done than the first as batter splatters across the pan. It's fine, that one will be his. He doesn't care.
He comes around, out of the kitchen, to the side of the bar where Eren's seated, and doesn't bother to wait for an invitation to wrap him up in a hug while he's still seated. ]
It was hell, but I feel like... I understand some things now, and I'll be able to better help others in the future.
[ He messes a hand through the top of Eren's hair, strands falling out of his bun as he does. ]
And I'm just happy to have you back. I'd rather focus on that.
[Eren has found it easier and easier to touch. Nearly everyone that he loves still offers it. The truth being that he spends more time with Maruki than anyone, there's no reason to shy away when he comes around the bar and hugs him. Eren rests his head where it lands and puts his arms loosely around Maruki in return. He's always been the type; just hasn't been allowed to be in a while.]
I'm not worried about how well you can help others.
Someone ought to help you.
[Eren pulls back to look at his friend.]
I'm not leaving again until it's time, so. I will. That hasn't changed.
[ Maruki ruffles his hair once more, then swings back around the counter to return to the stove, gently nudging at the okonomiyaki and bending over to try to see how done they are underneath as he speaks. ]
You help me, we help each other. It's how things have always been. It won't change.
[ Quiet, calm reassurances that he's perfectly secure in. It still feels good to say them out loud, hear them echoed back.
Someone ought to help him, yes, and several do. It's just that no one could have helped him with what he went through without Eren around. The only person who would know how to get through to him during something like that is– well. Eren. Hence the problem. ]
[Maruki's back to cooking. Eren lifts the phone again. He switches it back to the still camera, thus ending the recording. A few more candids of Maruki are taken.]
In ways...
It feels a bit like how things have always been. Doesn't it?
[ He turns to get plates for them, sees Eren back to taking photos and laughs to himself. He really is serious about capturing everything now... ]
In ways, it does. In the ways that matter most, I think.
[ Some things feel wholly different in a way that can't be reconciled well with the past, but they're fewer in number than one might expect. But that can't be a universal experience for Eren at the moment. ]
[ Wouldn't it be crazy if one could make phenomenal amounts of money just from photographing and filming their meals? Wild...
Maruki comes around to join him, pauses as he's halfway up onto the chair, slides back off to remove the apron. He has a bad habit of cooking and then eating standing up in the kitchen, talking to Akechi from across the bar, but he wants this to be a proper meal.
A quick, quiet thanks, and then he demonstrates to Eren how to top it with the sauce. ]
It's like a savory pancake– although, saying that, I don't know that you've had a normal pancake...? Well, regardless, I hope you like it! But whether you do or not–
[ A triumphant bites from his chopsticks and a blissful little sigh. It tastes as close to home as he can get. ]
You're required to tell me who the other person is. As your best friend, I need to know!
Hm? [He already has his mouth full, you see. At least he chews and swallows before speaking these days.]
It isn't a secret. Just Kanoa.
He acts exactly the same. He wasn't even angry at me. He wanted to know where I'd gotten longer legs...[There's no humor in his voice when he says that, but he recognizes that it's funny. More than anything, he's devastatingly fond. The mere mention of that little anecdote at all really does all the talking.]
[ Maruki takes the joke for what it is and laughs around his own mouthful of piping hot fried cabbagey goodness. ]
Ah, that sounds like Kanoa-kun. I tried to talk to him while you were gone, too, but he would only send me photos of frogs... I hope it helped in some way. They were certainly cute, either way.
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[Meaning, yes, he absolutely wants to take a picture of Maruki in this outfit while he can, but it's not just that.
[They were memories you could hold. Pictures of Subaru and Mikasa are still hung up on the wall in he and Jean's bedroom. He took those photos himself. It matters...]
The ones I've seen have helped me to remember. If we're going to do everything, we should have photos of it for that reason, if nothing else.
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You're right. That's a great idea. Do you want me to show you now? You don't have your camera on you, but...
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Now isn't the time. Later.
He opens up the camera app and leans over the counter to show Eren. ]
Tap this part of the screen with your finger and it'll take a picture. You can hold it upright or sideways, whatever you want.
[ And then he backs off, almost poses, but remembers–
Eren in Eyn Sof, waiting to capture him with his Polaroid in a candid moment.
So after a beat, he simply returns to cabbage slicing. ]
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Eventually, though, he does speak. ]
It takes videos too. So you can watch them back later. I've got some funny ones I'll show you sometime.
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Now it's on video.
I remember making these before. Only for communication.
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Do you? I can't recall you doing that too often, but you must have. Maybe more before my time here...
[ Strange to think that there was a time before they knew one another. Or– well, no, maybe they did, and that meeting in dreams was just to jog their memory. Hard to tell. ]
Next time I come to the farm, I'll show you how to use your camera again. I think you'll like having the physical photos even more than this.
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I was thinking...
If that network we used to use isn't around anymore, then they could take away any photos you take on these phones too.
All the ones I took before are still on the walls. If I remember right...some were even during that war.
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He'll cop to that later, though. Okonomiyaki batter pours into the pans and he keeps his eyes on them as he nods along. ]
That's a good point. The only things that are likely guaranteed to be safe are what you can hold in your hands.
[ He rubs at his jaw, eyes on the bubbling batter. ]
It's one of the reasons I knew you weren't gone, beyond just our promise. I went and looked through your things when I was the only one at the farm. Everything was still there.
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[He's been certain in their promise, and he has reason to be. Eren did return. On some level, that had to be intentional. He knows that their fight isn't done.
[But Eren knows he must have doubted, must have feared. He comforted himself with their word, with Eren's belongings - comforted others, too, but who helped carry that weight? Who carried him?
[Eren lowers the camera, tired of watching his friend through a lens. He lays the phone down flat on the table, though, he doesn't realize he hasn't stopped recording.]
Were you afraid?
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Of course I was afraid.
[ Quietly, plainly stated. There's not a single barb present. It wasn't Eren's fault that he left, and it certainly wasn't his fault that Maruki couldn't comfort himself with the same things he told everyone else. ]
I knew you'd return. But I was still afraid. Doesn't make sense, does it?
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[Eren looks at his friend; just holds his gaze for a moment.]
I've lived it. More than once. Out of everything, it's what I remember the most.
[Eren's hand curls and uncurls over the countertop.]
I don't doubt that you trusted my promise, but you must have thought, at times, that something had gone wrong. How couldn't you?
If your mind ever told you that I wasn't coming back, then...
I understand.
when u use the word pans in a pans tag
It's also not for the first time that he's wished Akira and Eren could meet. ]
That's exactly it. Thank you...
[ Gratitude isn't enough. He doesn't know what would be enough.
Eyes back on the pans, spatula gently testing the edges to see if they're ready to flip. ]
Can I be honest with you? [ It's rhetorical. ] I worried that something went wrong every night. It was such a helpless situation, it was driving me crazy.
[ If anyone, anyone will understand the unique lunacy of being toyed with by reality and being unable to toy with it back, it will be Eren. ]
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[At last, he speaks, voice quieter than it was a moment before.]
In most realities, when someone goes away, it means they're dead. You'll never see them again.
Here, returning to our true realities is the closest thing to death we know. But even that isn't necessarily permanent.
There's no telling when someone might appear right next to you again. Every moment you're looking over your shoulder, checking your phone. It would drive anyone insane.
Maruki. I'm sorry. [And, because he thinks he knows what the response will be:] That you had to go through it at all. It's Hell...
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He laughs. Subdued, softened, tight in his throat. ]
Not while I'm flipping okonomiyaki, you little– ah, hold on–
[ He rushes through flipping the second one, a little less done than the first as batter splatters across the pan. It's fine, that one will be his. He doesn't care.
He comes around, out of the kitchen, to the side of the bar where Eren's seated, and doesn't bother to wait for an invitation to wrap him up in a hug while he's still seated. ]
It was hell, but I feel like... I understand some things now, and I'll be able to better help others in the future.
[ He messes a hand through the top of Eren's hair, strands falling out of his bun as he does. ]
And I'm just happy to have you back. I'd rather focus on that.
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I'm not worried about how well you can help others.
Someone ought to help you.
[Eren pulls back to look at his friend.]
I'm not leaving again until it's time, so. I will. That hasn't changed.
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[ Maruki ruffles his hair once more, then swings back around the counter to return to the stove, gently nudging at the okonomiyaki and bending over to try to see how done they are underneath as he speaks. ]
You help me, we help each other. It's how things have always been. It won't change.
[ Quiet, calm reassurances that he's perfectly secure in. It still feels good to say them out loud, hear them echoed back.
Someone ought to help him, yes, and several do. It's just that no one could have helped him with what he went through without Eren around. The only person who would know how to get through to him during something like that is– well. Eren. Hence the problem. ]
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In ways...
It feels a bit like how things have always been. Doesn't it?
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In ways, it does. In the ways that matter most, I think.
[ Some things feel wholly different in a way that can't be reconciled well with the past, but they're fewer in number than one might expect. But that can't be a universal experience for Eren at the moment. ]
It doesn't feel like that with everyone, does it?
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No instagram meal photos.]No, it doesn't. Not with anyone else, really. I'd say...only you and one other person.
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Maruki comes around to join him, pauses as he's halfway up onto the chair, slides back off to remove the apron. He has a bad habit of cooking and then eating standing up in the kitchen, talking to Akechi from across the bar, but he wants this to be a proper meal.
A quick, quiet thanks, and then he demonstrates to Eren how to top it with the sauce. ]
It's like a savory pancake– although, saying that, I don't know that you've had a normal pancake...? Well, regardless, I hope you like it! But whether you do or not–
[ A triumphant bites from his chopsticks and a blissful little sigh. It tastes as close to home as he can get. ]
You're required to tell me who the other person is. As your best friend, I need to know!
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It isn't a secret. Just Kanoa.
He acts exactly the same. He wasn't even angry at me. He wanted to know where I'd gotten longer legs...[There's no humor in his voice when he says that, but he recognizes that it's funny. More than anything, he's devastatingly fond. The mere mention of that little anecdote at all really does all the talking.]
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Ah, that sounds like Kanoa-kun. I tried to talk to him while you were gone, too, but he would only send me photos of frogs... I hope it helped in some way. They were certainly cute, either way.
CERTIFIED EREN DAD TAG
He was probably upset, then.
I'm not surprised. He did tell me that too.
With Kanoa...[Eren pauses for a thoughtful bite.] He seems like a little kid, but he has a lot going on. When his mother left this place...
[Ah. Eren sets his fork down.]
It was terrible. Him sending you those pictures...that was probably a good thing for him.
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literally this icon
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DELIBERATELY VAGUE DUE TO PENDING THREAD
hehe
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hehe feel free to skip ahead if you want :3c
oh I want
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god. muki de pochi.
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WE CAN SNACK WRAP UNLESS U HAVE MORE