[It can be hard learning a new kitchen space, but it's something that puts Akira at ease. It always has, even back during the first days that he moved to Leblanc. Now, with the situations with both Akechi and Maruki... it's probably something he needs now more than ever.
The pantries are well-stocked, at least. He hadn't really known what to expect from either of them, but it seems like at least one or both must cook fairly often... Enough to have a good stock of supplies and a good arrangement of equipment.
He looks around. Nobody else is with him here, except for the cat watching him with careful eyes from a short distance away. Assessing him, most likely, til she feels comfortable with him; he's a stranger that just arrived in her house, after all.
...Akira should probably try to get comfortable here too, though. He'd thought about it yesterday, but he's decided now. He'll cook breakfast for them. Things may be complicated, but he's up before (seemingly) anyone else. It's the least he can do. It seems like there's enough to scrounge together for curry, so...
It's quiet as he goes about his work. There's a peace to falling into the familiar steps, even if he's unsure if he should be worrying about the ingredients at all. His new housemates seem to be living here and eating the food, even if it's cognitive, so Akira isn't going to think about it too hard. What he is going to do is grab a cup and see if there's any coffee to make. Akira turns-
and
in the corner
is a man glaring from the shadows.]
Shit-
[It's hissed out between his teeth, his body jerks, his elbow goes out-
There's a long stretch of silence. Akira doesn't move, hand tightly clutching the mug in a death grip, waiting to see if the man will move instead. Or speak. Or at least stop glaring.
But he can't stand leaving that mess on the floor. Akira needs to move, he needs to do something, so he finally moves the slightest centimeter and says-]
[Eren knew that Kurusu would be here, of course. It's why he's here now - before Maruki wakes up and realizes all over again that nothing here is only a bad dream.
[He told himself he'd be calm, so he's calm. He never told himself he wouldn't stare. Maybe it isn't intentional, at first; he can watch the boy move about the space as he works without ever being seen, go intercept Maruki at his bedroom door before the smell of food wakes him up.
[At some point, the stare becomes something else.
[Kurusu will know Eren Jaeger. He will know him well and right away. He will know that he has a key to the machiya. He will know that Takuto Maruki is
very
dear
to Eren.
[Memory is both mutable and everlasting; Eren really did believe it when he told Maruki that he and Kurusu's time together still lived in the boy's soul.
[However.
[Kurusu has more ability to hurt Maruki than anyone else in this reality - than anyone else in most. Eren must be present. Eren must be near. Eren is not a friend of Akira Kurusu's. As it stands right now, he's not so much human as a beloved family pet.
[Shadows hang all around the machiya, but Eren moves closer, silent toward the kitchen, stare never wavering. It's not a particularly vicious glare; still a glare.]
You'll see me often. My dear friends rest here. [Oh, but those words do not sound kind.]
I've heard your name, Kurusu. You should learn mine.
[It should instill fear. It sounds like more of a threat than a statement, and there's something so terribly menacing in that glare. He's in a house without Morgana, so far from all of his most beloved friends, with two people he's still deciding if he should trust - one because a seed of doubt lingers, and the other because it's already been proven before that trusting him could be fatal. And now, in the midst of it all, someone is here - how did he even get inside - that may not mean him well.
He should be afraid. He should be on guard.
And yet.
The two other people that live in this house... Akira may have difficulty trusting them, but they've never stopped being important to him. Even if one of them he met for the first time less than twenty-four hours ago.
And so, Akira's body does not become tense - it relaxes. Akira's face does not close off - it becomes almost unbearably soft.]
...You know them. You know both of them, don't you?
[His voice is soft, too - relieved. Maybe just a little bit sad, if one were to really listen hard for it.
His death grip on the mug loosens, and he straightens out of where he'd slouched against the counter as he was startled. The heat on the stove is turned off, at least for now.]
You're right. I'd like to know your name.
[His fingers still itch with the desire to clean, there's a mess there- but he waits. Akira forces himself to wait, just for a moment, because he wants to look at him when he says his name.]
[Eren has been told that Akira is a "good" person. He supposes he has no reason to doubt that - perhaps, logically, realizes that he had no hand in forgetting Maruki, and yet...
[He did forget him, didn't he? And, so, he may be a "good" person, and he may be a "friend" to Maruki, but he's no friend of Eren's.
[And Eren's never particularly given much of a shit who's "good" or "bad".
[His face does not soften. His voice does not sound sad.
[Dry. But not hollow. Taunting, almost, for whatever tone it holds at all.]
Eren Jaeger.
Yes. I know them. Very well.
[He doesn't say more yet - let Kurusu do the talking, say what he will. Eren's learned to listen first.]
[He nods, takes it in. An unfamiliar-sounding name, but not the hardest to sound out. Eren Jaeger. He'll never forget it.
That tone, though... It's hard to read what it means, not with someone he's only just met. It feels vaguely like a taunt if he had to place it at all, but he understands what that means even less.
Maybe without Morgana, he really is helpless. He hasn't even been here for a whole day, and he already feels too lost for words.]
I need to clean this up, if you don't mind me looking away for a moment. [He's already kneeling down to pick up the pot. If Eren's mad about it, laughs at him for it - either of those are fine. But Akira won't leave Maruki's floors dirty.] But... I'm glad. Both of them need a good friend here.
[In this place where memories are lost, two realities crash and meet... It's a place where you need friends more than ever, Akira thinks.]
[His hands stutter and freeze on their way to reach for a hand towel.
His back is turned for a moment, so Akira takes the chance to smile bitterly at the floor, a secret between him and the mess.]
If I were close with them... If I could be, maybe things would be different.
[At least in Maruki's case, Akira hasn't done anything wrong, probably. But it doesn't change how Akira feels about it. Maybe it will simply be another leaden ball of guilt that he has to live with for the rest of his life.]
Akechi is someone that I failed. I don't even know for sure what he remembers, but... I understood him more than probably anyone I've ever met, and yet I couldn't save him when it counted. I should've been able to, but he saved me instead.
[And it cost him his life, he doesn't say, because if he has to talk about it anymore he'll unravel in front of someone he just met and that is not allowed even with people he does know. His hands are tight on the towel, so he forces himself to relax his grip before he damages the kindness that was shown to him.
He kneels down and cleans. It helps keep his mind centered, somehow.]
Maruki-san knows me. He was so happy to see me when I woke up in the gardens. But I- [His voice breaks. When he starts again, it's just the slightest bit more unsteady.] I've never met him. The things he said yesterday... I don't know if he knows how much it meant to me. But in my reality, or however it works, we've never met. He was never hired at my school. Yesterday he tried to cover it up, but... He looked at me like he was grieving, and I don't...
[I don't know how to fix it.
I don't know how to help him.
I wish the Kurusu Akira he was looking for had woken up here instead of me.
He doesn't say any of that, because it's his burden and fault to bear.]
They're important to me. [He's gotten most of the spill up now, and his hands are already starting to feel lost. Directionless.] But I don't know if I'm the Akira they need.
[It's as if Akira can't speak without raising Eren's hackles. This animosity doesn't show; at the assertion that Kurusu knows Akechi better than anyone, or that Maruki, a man he doesn't even know, is "important" to him, Eren merely flexes his right hand, held down by his side. Kurusu is still turned away, and Eren still half-cast in shadow.
[It isn't lost on him, by the way, that this must be the friend Akechi only managed to mention once; Eren can see now, too, that Kurusu isn't entirely an unfamiliar face - Eren has seen his corpse.
[So, Kurusu is important to them, but has this one earned the right to say the same?
[Eren continues to watch.]
That doesn't absolve you of responsibility.
My friends cherish you. I won't allow that to be abused.
His tone is so controlled, but those words... He must be upset with him. Akira can't blame him for it, really. Especially not after seeing the way Maruki looked at him the day before. Akira wonders if he knows about that.
He deserves it, though, so he doesn't mind.]
It doesn't absolve me, no. But I don't intend to toss away their feelings, either. [His task is mostly complete, so he lets his gaze fall on Eren again.] Do you think that I do?
[What does Eren expect of him? What does he think of him? He wants to try and see.]
BABY BOY YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!!! YAMAS CEASE YOUR HURTFUL WORDS!!!
It should make him feel better. Instead, it feels like a blow straight to his gut.
Maruki speaks highly of you, when he doesn't even know if he can live up those words. Maruki speaks highly of you, when "Akira" doesn't belong here. Maruki speaks highly of you, while "Akira" is the one who stole the heartfelt reunion that Maruki deserved.
Maruki saw the sky for him, and Akira didn't even know his name.]
The way he spoke... We must mean a lot to each other. [Must've. It's the only way. The pot ker-thuds into the sink, momentarily free of its responsibilities.] As for my intentions... My only intention is not to fail either of them more than I already have.
[It might be too late for that, honestly. But there's at least one thing he can try to do.]
If it's alright, I'd like to ask you something. You care about them, so I think you'll answer me honestly.
He doesn't want to face the answer if it's a yes; he doesn't want to face the answer if it's a no. Both would be difficult to swallow for very different reasons.
But not wanting to doesn't mean he can't. He will, because it's something he has to do.]
[Eren feels his head slowly tilt to the side, his eyes narrowing in something that would almost be amusement if he didn't also feel like he was ready to rip Kurusu's throat from his neck.]
That doesn't matter.
You have been listening, haven't you? [That "question" does not leave much room for rebuttal.
[He takes one step.
[Two.
[Three into the kitchen.]
You are here now. Regardless of your feelings, your intentions, your fears - you have a responsibility.
That's three times I've said it now.
[He puts a hand down on the counter, fingers breaching up at the knuckles, tense under pristine skin.]
Show up. Kurusu. As they will show up for you. Quit worrying whether you're a blight or a boon.
It matters that he stole away Maruki's most important person. It matters that Akechi is going to die for him.
It matters that-
"If they want you, they'll have you."
-Akira is here, even if he'll always be the wrong one.]
...Then I'll be here, if and until that isn't what they need from me.
[Akira tilts his head back to look up at him, trying to assess what he'll do. There's a tension in his hands that he doesn't know how to read. Maybe Eren is holding himself back from something.
Maybe Akira wishes he wouldn't hold back at all.
Akira doesn't know how to give them what they need when he isn't even the person they need. But he has to try. There's no other choice but to try. He doesn't know what to do, so he'll have to figure it out.
Maruki wanted him here. It hurts, but it has to mean something.]
lmao oh these two are gonna be a mess WOOF THOSE BRACKETS AKIRA don't let eren know ur similar <3
[He tilts his head to the side. It seems like... an odd suggestion for someone that seems pretty displeased with him.
Maybe it's just to keep an eye on him? Akira thinks that makes sense, so he should go along with it. That would be the best outcome for all of them; Eren can feel better about him being around if he's keeping an eye on him, and Akira can keep his head down so he doesn't make things any worse.]
It won't. But if you want to... I'd like that. You care about them a lot.
[It will never be enough. It will never make up for it.
Akira understands he can't fix what's lost. But he can at least do one thing right by them, and that's to try and understand the people that love them.
The mask he has to figure out now is "Kurusu Akira", and maybe that's the most difficult one of all.
Glancing around though... He really has to hurry now. How long has it been... Maruki could be up at any minute, and he has to restart the batch. Most of the ingredients are still laid out. He'll need to repay Maruki for what he lost as well...]
Are you hungry?
akira like "yes mommy whatever u say mommy yes mommy"
Maruki's eyes still feel swollen and bruised from the day before, even after knocking out for twelve hours minimum. He hears the hum of voices downstairs – something strange he'll have to get used to now, and so there's no thought in his head that it might be anyone other than Akira and Akechi, but– ]
Eren?
[ Asked through the end of his yawn as he finishes rubbing sleep from his eyes and knocks his glasses back down onto his face, blinking rapidly as groggy consciousness catches up to him.
A beat, and then he smiles at both of them, sleepy and subdued but genuine. ]
This is– oh, I'm so glad you two got to meet! I was hoping to make the introduction myself, but... [ That smile only grows wider, warmer, and then he spies all the food laid out. ] Kurusu-kun, is Eren helping you make breakfast?
[ As ever, the reality that exists only in Maruki Takuto's head is so much kinder than the truth. ]
[Rapidly, a couple of calculations occur in Akira's mind.
Eren also heard the creak like Akira did, Maruki is pleased but not exactly surprised - Akira never doubted him, but he can infer that Eren probably does spend a good portion of his time here. Maruki doen't use an honorific with him, so he's as close in Maruki's eyes as he is in Eren's. And lastly... Maruki has absolutely no clue about what's gone on in this kitchen.
It's better that the latter stays that way.]
Yes. [He nods, setting things out on the table. His voice is demure; it's the way he kept it around Sojiro when they first met, when he didn't know if he'd ever see the kindness underneath that gruff exterior, even directed at someone that wasn't Akira himself. The situation is different now, but it's still useful.] I'm still getting used to this place and made a few mistakes, so Eren-san helped correct me.
[It's a gamble. Akira never makes mistakes in the kitchen, not anymore. But he's still gambling on that "other reality's Akira" never cooking for Maruki, or at least not letting that particular fact slip.]
[Not a lie, really. Eren wonders if Kurusu's wording thereof was intentional.]
You know I'm not much of a cook. [He looks toward Maruki.] I wanted to meet Kurusu on my own the first time. I knew you wouldn't allow that, so long as you were awake. That's all.
[ Eren is right, of course. Maruki would have moved heaven and earth to be there when they met if he was conscious. Alas, the spirit and flesh were both weak.
He hesitates for a moment at the edge of the kitchen, then laughs at himself as he swings around to sit at the bar instead. ]
This is the first time I haven't had to cook breakfast myself in half a year. It's surreal being on the other side of things.
[ An elbow propped up on the bar counter, he rests his chin on his palm and watches the two of them fondly.
It's almost like Leblanc. Discussing the collective unconscious over coffee. That only adds to the dreamlike quality, really... ]
To catch you up to speed, Eren was one of the first people I met here. He actually let me stay with him while I was still brand new, before Akechi-kun and I moved in together. We've been friends ever since.
[ Not strictly true, as it leaves out the whole part where Eren was very much his patient, but there's no need to get into that. ]
He has a farm not far from here, I'll take you over sometime. They have so many cats...
[ He thinks to ask if the little black and white one stayed with the Sakuras when he left Tokyo, but drops the thought as soon as it comes to him. He knows he can and will chatter on to fill the silence, and that even if Akira doesn't recognize it as a nervous habit, Eren will. ]
[Akira freezes with his hands setting the plates down, the offer to cook for Maruki whenever he wants momentarily forgotten, swept straight out of his mind. But this time, maybe he's freezing in not such a bad way.]
...There's cats there? [His head darts up, a hopeful sparkle in his eye before he remembers himself and smothers it down. He can't just ask for that. But if Maruki wants to go, then maybe-] If Eren-san is alright with it, that sounds really nice.
[There's a sort of peace about cats, about really any sort of animal. Akira's always loved them, but he also doesn't always have to be "on" with them. Right now, it sounds like a balm.]
You've known each other for a long time.
[He directs the attention away from himself, what could be an implication of what he likes. He hasn't been this careless in a while, but a lot has thrown him off recently.]
[Eren had done well enough to prepare himself to have a one on one conversation with Kurusu, but he hadn't, apparently, thought too much about how it would feel to actually try and play nice. Naturally, Maruki would offer up the farm, and he has every right to; still, Eren doesn't particularly want to sit around talking about how much Kurusu just loves kitties.]
Maruki stays at the farm. He's welcome to bring anyone he wants.
[...]
The barn is full of cats. [LOOK! He's trying.
[Who does a guy have to fuck to get some tea around here? He simply moves through the kitchen to start preparing it himself.]
[ Maruki may not have any idea what just transpired in this kitchen, but he knows Eren Jaeger like he knows his own soul. He isn't exactly warm towards people who hadn't already earned it before his brief time away from Somnius, to say nothing of how kindly he probably looks upon someone who he thinks hurt Maruki. None of it is Akira's fault, and he even told Eren that, but...
Well. He knows his best friend, that's all. So it's clear that he is trying, and Maruki beams with sleepy pride. ]
Akechi-kun might lose his mind if we get another cat... which means we should, of course.
[ He's about to ask Eren to start coffee for him too, then about to ask Akira if he still makes coffee even though he's no longer living in the café, and then both get swept from his mind as something far stronger than caffeine jolts into his system. ]
I should tell you now– [ Akechi could be anywhere. He beckons Akira closer and lowers his voice. ] I've made him believe there's a second cat here that he's just never seen. It's kind of a long story, but if you could help keep that ruse going... Eren's in on it too!
[ And then, back to his normal volume. ]
She's black and white, and I named her Neko-chan. I'm not very good at naming animals...
Edited (holy fuck good night) 2024-11-15 12:38 (UTC)
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action; 11/7, his first morning because i think that's what we all deserve
The pantries are well-stocked, at least. He hadn't really known what to expect from either of them, but it seems like at least one or both must cook fairly often... Enough to have a good stock of supplies and a good arrangement of equipment.
He looks around. Nobody else is with him here, except for the cat watching him with careful eyes from a short distance away. Assessing him, most likely, til she feels comfortable with him; he's a stranger that just arrived in her house, after all.
...Akira should probably try to get comfortable here too, though. He'd thought about it yesterday, but he's decided now. He'll cook breakfast for them. Things may be complicated, but he's up before (seemingly) anyone else. It's the least he can do. It seems like there's enough to scrounge together for curry, so...
It's quiet as he goes about his work. There's a peace to falling into the familiar steps, even if he's unsure if he should be worrying about the ingredients at all. His new housemates seem to be living here and eating the food, even if it's cognitive, so Akira isn't going to think about it too hard. What he is going to do is grab a cup and see if there's any coffee to make. Akira turns-
and
Shit-
[It's hissed out between his teeth, his body jerks, his elbow goes out-
There's a long stretch of silence. Akira doesn't move, hand tightly clutching the mug in a death grip, waiting to see if the man will move instead. Or speak. Or at least stop glaring.
But he can't stand leaving that mess on the floor. Akira needs to move, he needs to do something, so he finally moves the slightest centimeter and says-]
Are you having breakfast here, too?
hooooooboy
[He told himself he'd be calm, so he's calm. He never told himself he wouldn't stare. Maybe it isn't intentional, at first; he can watch the boy move about the space as he works without ever being seen, go intercept Maruki at his bedroom door before the smell of food wakes him up.
[At some point, the stare becomes something else.
[Kurusu will know Eren Jaeger. He will know him well and right away. He will know that he has a key to the machiya. He will know that Takuto Maruki is
dear
to Eren.
[Memory is both mutable and everlasting; Eren really did believe it when he told Maruki that he and Kurusu's time together still lived in the boy's soul.
[However.
[Kurusu has more ability to hurt Maruki than anyone else in this reality - than anyone else in most. Eren must be present. Eren must be near. Eren is not a friend of Akira Kurusu's. As it stands right now, he's not so much human as a beloved family pet.
[Shadows hang all around the machiya, but Eren moves closer, silent toward the kitchen, stare never wavering. It's not a particularly vicious glare; still a glare.]
You'll see me often. My dear friends rest here. [Oh, but those words do not sound kind.]
I've heard your name, Kurusu. You should learn mine.
tightly shuts my eyes
He should be afraid. He should be on guard.
And yet.
The two other people that live in this house... Akira may have difficulty trusting them, but they've never stopped being important to him. Even if one of them he met for the first time less than twenty-four hours ago.
And so, Akira's body does not become tense - it relaxes. Akira's face does not close off - it becomes almost unbearably soft.]
...You know them. You know both of them, don't you?
[His voice is soft, too - relieved. Maybe just a little bit sad, if one were to really listen hard for it.
His death grip on the mug loosens, and he straightens out of where he'd slouched against the counter as he was startled. The heat on the stove is turned off, at least for now.]
You're right. I'd like to know your name.
[His fingers still itch with the desire to clean, there's a mess there- but he waits. Akira forces himself to wait, just for a moment, because he wants to look at him when he says his name.]
akira my king
[He did forget him, didn't he? And, so, he may be a "good" person, and he may be a "friend" to Maruki, but he's no friend of Eren's.
[And Eren's never particularly given much of a shit who's "good" or "bad".
[His face does not soften. His voice does not sound sad.
[Dry. But not hollow. Taunting, almost, for whatever tone it holds at all.]
Eren Jaeger.
Yes. I know them. Very well.
[He doesn't say more yet - let Kurusu do the talking, say what he will. Eren's learned to listen first.]
puts him into a jar and shakes
[He nods, takes it in. An unfamiliar-sounding name, but not the hardest to sound out. Eren Jaeger. He'll never forget it.
That tone, though... It's hard to read what it means, not with someone he's only just met. It feels vaguely like a taunt if he had to place it at all, but he understands what that means even less.
Maybe without Morgana, he really is helpless. He hasn't even been here for a whole day, and he already feels too lost for words.]
I need to clean this up, if you don't mind me looking away for a moment. [He's already kneeling down to pick up the pot. If Eren's mad about it, laughs at him for it - either of those are fine. But Akira won't leave Maruki's floors dirty.] But... I'm glad. Both of them need a good friend here.
[In this place where memories are lost, two realities crash and meet... It's a place where you need friends more than ever, Akira thinks.]
no subject
You're close with them, aren't you? [Testing...]
Tell me about that.
no subject
His back is turned for a moment, so Akira takes the chance to smile bitterly at the floor, a secret between him and the mess.]
If I were close with them... If I could be, maybe things would be different.
[At least in Maruki's case, Akira hasn't done anything wrong, probably. But it doesn't change how Akira feels about it. Maybe it will simply be another leaden ball of guilt that he has to live with for the rest of his life.]
Akechi is someone that I failed. I don't even know for sure what he remembers, but... I understood him more than probably anyone I've ever met, and yet I couldn't save him when it counted. I should've been able to, but he saved me instead.
[And it cost him his life, he doesn't say, because if he has to talk about it anymore he'll unravel in front of someone he just met and that is not allowed even with people he does know. His hands are tight on the towel, so he forces himself to relax his grip before he damages the kindness that was shown to him.
He kneels down and cleans. It helps keep his mind centered, somehow.]
Maruki-san knows me. He was so happy to see me when I woke up in the gardens. But I- [His voice breaks. When he starts again, it's just the slightest bit more unsteady.] I've never met him. The things he said yesterday... I don't know if he knows how much it meant to me. But in my reality, or however it works, we've never met. He was never hired at my school. Yesterday he tried to cover it up, but... He looked at me like he was grieving, and I don't...
[I don't know how to fix it.
I don't know how to help him.
I wish the Kurusu Akira he was looking for had woken up here instead of me.
He doesn't say any of that, because it's his burden and fault to bear.]
They're important to me. [He's gotten most of the spill up now, and his hands are already starting to feel lost. Directionless.] But I don't know if I'm the Akira they need.
no subject
[It isn't lost on him, by the way, that this must be the friend Akechi only managed to mention once; Eren can see now, too, that Kurusu isn't entirely an unfamiliar face - Eren has seen his corpse.
[So, Kurusu is important to them, but has this one earned the right to say the same?
[Eren continues to watch.]
That doesn't absolve you of responsibility.
My friends cherish you. I won't allow that to be abused.
no subject
His tone is so controlled, but those words... He must be upset with him. Akira can't blame him for it, really. Especially not after seeing the way Maruki looked at him the day before. Akira wonders if he knows about that.
He deserves it, though, so he doesn't mind.]
It doesn't absolve me, no. But I don't intend to toss away their feelings, either. [His task is mostly complete, so he lets his gaze fall on Eren again.] Do you think that I do?
[What does Eren expect of him? What does he think of him? He wants to try and see.]
BABY BOY YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!!! YAMAS CEASE YOUR HURTFUL WORDS!!!
I only know that I'll be nearby. It's important we met today.
[He lets a moment or two's silence pass.]
Maruki speaks highly of you.
WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME HE'S [static noises]
It should make him feel better. Instead, it feels like a blow straight to his gut.
Maruki speaks highly of you, when he doesn't even know if he can live up those words. Maruki speaks highly of you, when "Akira" doesn't belong here. Maruki speaks highly of you, while "Akira" is the one who stole the heartfelt reunion that Maruki deserved.
Maruki saw the sky for him, and Akira didn't even know his name.]
The way he spoke... We must mean a lot to each other. [Must've. It's the only way. The pot ker-thuds into the sink, momentarily free of its responsibilities.] As for my intentions... My only intention is not to fail either of them more than I already have.
[It might be too late for that, honestly. But there's at least one thing he can try to do.]
If it's alright, I'd like to ask you something. You care about them, so I think you'll answer me honestly.
no subject
Go on, then.
no subject
He doesn't want to face the answer if it's a yes; he doesn't want to face the answer if it's a no. Both would be difficult to swallow for very different reasons.
But not wanting to doesn't mean he can't. He will, because it's something he has to do.]
Am I hurting them more by being here?
no subject
That doesn't matter.
You have been listening, haven't you? [That "question" does not leave much room for rebuttal.
[He takes one step.
[Two.
[Three into the kitchen.]
You are here now. Regardless of your feelings, your intentions, your fears - you have a responsibility.
That's three times I've said it now.
[He puts a hand down on the counter, fingers breaching up at the knuckles, tense under pristine skin.]
Show up. Kurusu. As they will show up for you. Quit worrying whether you're a blight or a boon.
If they want you, they'll have you.
no subject
It doesn't matter? Of course it matters.
It matters that he stole away Maruki's most important person. It matters that Akechi is going to die for him.
It matters that-
...Then I'll be here, if and until that isn't what they need from me.
[Akira tilts his head back to look up at him, trying to assess what he'll do. There's a tension in his hands that he doesn't know how to read. Maybe Eren is holding himself back from something.
Maybe Akira wishes he wouldn't hold back at all.
Akira doesn't know how to give them what they need when he isn't even the person they need. But he has to try. There's no other choice but to try. He doesn't know what to do, so he'll have to figure it out.
Maruki wanted him here. It hurts, but it has to mean something.]
lmao oh these two are gonna be a mess WOOF THOSE BRACKETS AKIRA don't let eren know ur similar <3
["If" and "until" - no, no.]
You know your role, then.
We'll be seeing each other often. Suppose we ought to be friends. [He could not sound more disingenuous if he tried.]
FDHJKSDFJKSDFJKSDJK me waiting in the wings with the steel chair. i already love this so deeply.
Maybe it's just to keep an eye on him? Akira thinks that makes sense, so he should go along with it. That would be the best outcome for all of them; Eren can feel better about him being around if he's keeping an eye on him, and Akira can keep his head down so he doesn't make things any worse.]
It won't. But if you want to... I'd like that. You care about them a lot.
[It will never be enough. It will never make up for it.
Akira understands he can't fix what's lost. But he can at least do one thing right by them, and that's to try and understand the people that love them.
The mask he has to figure out now is "Kurusu Akira", and maybe that's the most difficult one of all.
Glancing around though... He really has to hurry now. How long has it been... Maruki could be up at any minute, and he has to restart the batch. Most of the ingredients are still laid out. He'll need to repay Maruki for what he lost as well...]
Are you hungry?
akira like "yes mommy whatever u say mommy yes mommy"
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Maruki's eyes still feel swollen and bruised from the day before, even after knocking out for twelve hours minimum. He hears the hum of voices downstairs – something strange he'll have to get used to now, and so there's no thought in his head that it might be anyone other than Akira and Akechi, but– ]
Eren?
[ Asked through the end of his yawn as he finishes rubbing sleep from his eyes and knocks his glasses back down onto his face, blinking rapidly as groggy consciousness catches up to him.
A beat, and then he smiles at both of them, sleepy and subdued but genuine. ]
This is– oh, I'm so glad you two got to meet! I was hoping to make the introduction myself, but... [ That smile only grows wider, warmer, and then he spies all the food laid out. ] Kurusu-kun, is Eren helping you make breakfast?
[ As ever, the reality that exists only in Maruki Takuto's head is so much kinder than the truth. ]
here comes yes mommy #2
Eren also heard the creak like Akira did, Maruki is pleased but not exactly surprised - Akira never doubted him, but he can infer that Eren probably does spend a good portion of his time here. Maruki doen't use an honorific with him, so he's as close in Maruki's eyes as he is in Eren's. And lastly... Maruki has absolutely no clue about what's gone on in this kitchen.
It's better that the latter stays that way.]
Yes. [He nods, setting things out on the table. His voice is demure; it's the way he kept it around Sojiro when they first met, when he didn't know if he'd ever see the kindness underneath that gruff exterior, even directed at someone that wasn't Akira himself. The situation is different now, but it's still useful.] I'm still getting used to this place and made a few mistakes, so Eren-san helped correct me.
[It's a gamble. Akira never makes mistakes in the kitchen, not anymore. But he's still gambling on that "other reality's Akira" never cooking for Maruki, or at least not letting that particular fact slip.]
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You know I'm not much of a cook. [He looks toward Maruki.] I wanted to meet Kurusu on my own the first time. I knew you wouldn't allow that, so long as you were awake. That's all.
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He hesitates for a moment at the edge of the kitchen, then laughs at himself as he swings around to sit at the bar instead. ]
This is the first time I haven't had to cook breakfast myself in half a year. It's surreal being on the other side of things.
[ An elbow propped up on the bar counter, he rests his chin on his palm and watches the two of them fondly.
It's almost like Leblanc. Discussing the collective unconscious over coffee. That only adds to the dreamlike quality, really... ]
To catch you up to speed, Eren was one of the first people I met here. He actually let me stay with him while I was still brand new, before Akechi-kun and I moved in together. We've been friends ever since.
[ Not strictly true, as it leaves out the whole part where Eren was very much his patient, but there's no need to get into that. ]
He has a farm not far from here, I'll take you over sometime. They have so many cats...
[ He thinks to ask if the little black and white one stayed with the Sakuras when he left Tokyo, but drops the thought as soon as it comes to him. He knows he can and will chatter on to fill the silence, and that even if Akira doesn't recognize it as a nervous habit, Eren will. ]
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...There's cats there? [His head darts up, a hopeful sparkle in his eye before he remembers himself and smothers it down. He can't just ask for that. But if Maruki wants to go, then maybe-] If Eren-san is alright with it, that sounds really nice.
[There's a sort of peace about cats, about really any sort of animal. Akira's always loved them, but he also doesn't always have to be "on" with them. Right now, it sounds like a balm.]
You've known each other for a long time.
[He directs the attention away from himself, what could be an implication of what he likes. He hasn't been this careless in a while, but a lot has thrown him off recently.]
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Maruki stays at the farm. He's welcome to bring anyone he wants.
[...]
The barn is full of cats. [LOOK! He's trying.
[Who does a guy have to fuck to get some tea around here? He simply moves through the kitchen to start preparing it himself.]
Take one if you want.
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Well. He knows his best friend, that's all. So it's clear that he is trying, and Maruki beams with sleepy pride. ]
Akechi-kun might lose his mind if we get another cat... which means we should, of course.
[ He's about to ask Eren to start coffee for him too, then about to ask Akira if he still makes coffee even though he's no longer living in the café, and then both get swept from his mind as something far stronger than caffeine jolts into his system. ]
I should tell you now– [ Akechi could be anywhere. He beckons Akira closer and lowers his voice. ] I've made him believe there's a second cat here that he's just never seen. It's kind of a long story, but if you could help keep that ruse going... Eren's in on it too!
[ And then, back to his normal volume. ]
She's black and white, and I named her Neko-chan. I'm not very good at naming animals...
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