[His hands stutter and freeze on their way to reach for a hand towel.
His back is turned for a moment, so Akira takes the chance to smile bitterly at the floor, a secret between him and the mess.]
If I were close with them... If I could be, maybe things would be different.
[At least in Maruki's case, Akira hasn't done anything wrong, probably. But it doesn't change how Akira feels about it. Maybe it will simply be another leaden ball of guilt that he has to live with for the rest of his life.]
Akechi is someone that I failed. I don't even know for sure what he remembers, but... I understood him more than probably anyone I've ever met, and yet I couldn't save him when it counted. I should've been able to, but he saved me instead.
[And it cost him his life, he doesn't say, because if he has to talk about it anymore he'll unravel in front of someone he just met and that is not allowed even with people he does know. His hands are tight on the towel, so he forces himself to relax his grip before he damages the kindness that was shown to him.
He kneels down and cleans. It helps keep his mind centered, somehow.]
Maruki-san knows me. He was so happy to see me when I woke up in the gardens. But I- [His voice breaks. When he starts again, it's just the slightest bit more unsteady.] I've never met him. The things he said yesterday... I don't know if he knows how much it meant to me. But in my reality, or however it works, we've never met. He was never hired at my school. Yesterday he tried to cover it up, but... He looked at me like he was grieving, and I don't...
[I don't know how to fix it.
I don't know how to help him.
I wish the Kurusu Akira he was looking for had woken up here instead of me.
He doesn't say any of that, because it's his burden and fault to bear.]
They're important to me. [He's gotten most of the spill up now, and his hands are already starting to feel lost. Directionless.] But I don't know if I'm the Akira they need.
[It's as if Akira can't speak without raising Eren's hackles. This animosity doesn't show; at the assertion that Kurusu knows Akechi better than anyone, or that Maruki, a man he doesn't even know, is "important" to him, Eren merely flexes his right hand, held down by his side. Kurusu is still turned away, and Eren still half-cast in shadow.
[It isn't lost on him, by the way, that this must be the friend Akechi only managed to mention once; Eren can see now, too, that Kurusu isn't entirely an unfamiliar face - Eren has seen his corpse.
[So, Kurusu is important to them, but has this one earned the right to say the same?
[Eren continues to watch.]
That doesn't absolve you of responsibility.
My friends cherish you. I won't allow that to be abused.
His tone is so controlled, but those words... He must be upset with him. Akira can't blame him for it, really. Especially not after seeing the way Maruki looked at him the day before. Akira wonders if he knows about that.
He deserves it, though, so he doesn't mind.]
It doesn't absolve me, no. But I don't intend to toss away their feelings, either. [His task is mostly complete, so he lets his gaze fall on Eren again.] Do you think that I do?
[What does Eren expect of him? What does he think of him? He wants to try and see.]
BABY BOY YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!!! YAMAS CEASE YOUR HURTFUL WORDS!!!
It should make him feel better. Instead, it feels like a blow straight to his gut.
Maruki speaks highly of you, when he doesn't even know if he can live up those words. Maruki speaks highly of you, when "Akira" doesn't belong here. Maruki speaks highly of you, while "Akira" is the one who stole the heartfelt reunion that Maruki deserved.
Maruki saw the sky for him, and Akira didn't even know his name.]
The way he spoke... We must mean a lot to each other. [Must've. It's the only way. The pot ker-thuds into the sink, momentarily free of its responsibilities.] As for my intentions... My only intention is not to fail either of them more than I already have.
[It might be too late for that, honestly. But there's at least one thing he can try to do.]
If it's alright, I'd like to ask you something. You care about them, so I think you'll answer me honestly.
He doesn't want to face the answer if it's a yes; he doesn't want to face the answer if it's a no. Both would be difficult to swallow for very different reasons.
But not wanting to doesn't mean he can't. He will, because it's something he has to do.]
[Eren feels his head slowly tilt to the side, his eyes narrowing in something that would almost be amusement if he didn't also feel like he was ready to rip Kurusu's throat from his neck.]
That doesn't matter.
You have been listening, haven't you? [That "question" does not leave much room for rebuttal.
[He takes one step.
[Two.
[Three into the kitchen.]
You are here now. Regardless of your feelings, your intentions, your fears - you have a responsibility.
That's three times I've said it now.
[He puts a hand down on the counter, fingers breaching up at the knuckles, tense under pristine skin.]
Show up. Kurusu. As they will show up for you. Quit worrying whether you're a blight or a boon.
It matters that he stole away Maruki's most important person. It matters that Akechi is going to die for him.
It matters that-
"If they want you, they'll have you."
-Akira is here, even if he'll always be the wrong one.]
...Then I'll be here, if and until that isn't what they need from me.
[Akira tilts his head back to look up at him, trying to assess what he'll do. There's a tension in his hands that he doesn't know how to read. Maybe Eren is holding himself back from something.
Maybe Akira wishes he wouldn't hold back at all.
Akira doesn't know how to give them what they need when he isn't even the person they need. But he has to try. There's no other choice but to try. He doesn't know what to do, so he'll have to figure it out.
Maruki wanted him here. It hurts, but it has to mean something.]
lmao oh these two are gonna be a mess WOOF THOSE BRACKETS AKIRA don't let eren know ur similar <3
[He tilts his head to the side. It seems like... an odd suggestion for someone that seems pretty displeased with him.
Maybe it's just to keep an eye on him? Akira thinks that makes sense, so he should go along with it. That would be the best outcome for all of them; Eren can feel better about him being around if he's keeping an eye on him, and Akira can keep his head down so he doesn't make things any worse.]
It won't. But if you want to... I'd like that. You care about them a lot.
[It will never be enough. It will never make up for it.
Akira understands he can't fix what's lost. But he can at least do one thing right by them, and that's to try and understand the people that love them.
The mask he has to figure out now is "Kurusu Akira", and maybe that's the most difficult one of all.
Glancing around though... He really has to hurry now. How long has it been... Maruki could be up at any minute, and he has to restart the batch. Most of the ingredients are still laid out. He'll need to repay Maruki for what he lost as well...]
Are you hungry?
akira like "yes mommy whatever u say mommy yes mommy"
Maruki's eyes still feel swollen and bruised from the day before, even after knocking out for twelve hours minimum. He hears the hum of voices downstairs – something strange he'll have to get used to now, and so there's no thought in his head that it might be anyone other than Akira and Akechi, but– ]
Eren?
[ Asked through the end of his yawn as he finishes rubbing sleep from his eyes and knocks his glasses back down onto his face, blinking rapidly as groggy consciousness catches up to him.
A beat, and then he smiles at both of them, sleepy and subdued but genuine. ]
This is– oh, I'm so glad you two got to meet! I was hoping to make the introduction myself, but... [ That smile only grows wider, warmer, and then he spies all the food laid out. ] Kurusu-kun, is Eren helping you make breakfast?
[ As ever, the reality that exists only in Maruki Takuto's head is so much kinder than the truth. ]
[Rapidly, a couple of calculations occur in Akira's mind.
Eren also heard the creak like Akira did, Maruki is pleased but not exactly surprised - Akira never doubted him, but he can infer that Eren probably does spend a good portion of his time here. Maruki doen't use an honorific with him, so he's as close in Maruki's eyes as he is in Eren's. And lastly... Maruki has absolutely no clue about what's gone on in this kitchen.
It's better that the latter stays that way.]
Yes. [He nods, setting things out on the table. His voice is demure; it's the way he kept it around Sojiro when they first met, when he didn't know if he'd ever see the kindness underneath that gruff exterior, even directed at someone that wasn't Akira himself. The situation is different now, but it's still useful.] I'm still getting used to this place and made a few mistakes, so Eren-san helped correct me.
[It's a gamble. Akira never makes mistakes in the kitchen, not anymore. But he's still gambling on that "other reality's Akira" never cooking for Maruki, or at least not letting that particular fact slip.]
[Not a lie, really. Eren wonders if Kurusu's wording thereof was intentional.]
You know I'm not much of a cook. [He looks toward Maruki.] I wanted to meet Kurusu on my own the first time. I knew you wouldn't allow that, so long as you were awake. That's all.
[ Eren is right, of course. Maruki would have moved heaven and earth to be there when they met if he was conscious. Alas, the spirit and flesh were both weak.
He hesitates for a moment at the edge of the kitchen, then laughs at himself as he swings around to sit at the bar instead. ]
This is the first time I haven't had to cook breakfast myself in half a year. It's surreal being on the other side of things.
[ An elbow propped up on the bar counter, he rests his chin on his palm and watches the two of them fondly.
It's almost like Leblanc. Discussing the collective unconscious over coffee. That only adds to the dreamlike quality, really... ]
To catch you up to speed, Eren was one of the first people I met here. He actually let me stay with him while I was still brand new, before Akechi-kun and I moved in together. We've been friends ever since.
[ Not strictly true, as it leaves out the whole part where Eren was very much his patient, but there's no need to get into that. ]
He has a farm not far from here, I'll take you over sometime. They have so many cats...
[ He thinks to ask if the little black and white one stayed with the Sakuras when he left Tokyo, but drops the thought as soon as it comes to him. He knows he can and will chatter on to fill the silence, and that even if Akira doesn't recognize it as a nervous habit, Eren will. ]
[Akira freezes with his hands setting the plates down, the offer to cook for Maruki whenever he wants momentarily forgotten, swept straight out of his mind. But this time, maybe he's freezing in not such a bad way.]
...There's cats there? [His head darts up, a hopeful sparkle in his eye before he remembers himself and smothers it down. He can't just ask for that. But if Maruki wants to go, then maybe-] If Eren-san is alright with it, that sounds really nice.
[There's a sort of peace about cats, about really any sort of animal. Akira's always loved them, but he also doesn't always have to be "on" with them. Right now, it sounds like a balm.]
You've known each other for a long time.
[He directs the attention away from himself, what could be an implication of what he likes. He hasn't been this careless in a while, but a lot has thrown him off recently.]
[Eren had done well enough to prepare himself to have a one on one conversation with Kurusu, but he hadn't, apparently, thought too much about how it would feel to actually try and play nice. Naturally, Maruki would offer up the farm, and he has every right to; still, Eren doesn't particularly want to sit around talking about how much Kurusu just loves kitties.]
Maruki stays at the farm. He's welcome to bring anyone he wants.
[...]
The barn is full of cats. [LOOK! He's trying.
[Who does a guy have to fuck to get some tea around here? He simply moves through the kitchen to start preparing it himself.]
[ Maruki may not have any idea what just transpired in this kitchen, but he knows Eren Jaeger like he knows his own soul. He isn't exactly warm towards people who hadn't already earned it before his brief time away from Somnius, to say nothing of how kindly he probably looks upon someone who he thinks hurt Maruki. None of it is Akira's fault, and he even told Eren that, but...
Well. He knows his best friend, that's all. So it's clear that he is trying, and Maruki beams with sleepy pride. ]
Akechi-kun might lose his mind if we get another cat... which means we should, of course.
[ He's about to ask Eren to start coffee for him too, then about to ask Akira if he still makes coffee even though he's no longer living in the café, and then both get swept from his mind as something far stronger than caffeine jolts into his system. ]
I should tell you now– [ Akechi could be anywhere. He beckons Akira closer and lowers his voice. ] I've made him believe there's a second cat here that he's just never seen. It's kind of a long story, but if you could help keep that ruse going... Eren's in on it too!
[ And then, back to his normal volume. ]
She's black and white, and I named her Neko-chan. I'm not very good at naming animals...
Edited (holy fuck good night) 2024-11-15 12:38 (UTC)
[Akira's just going to take that as signal to only come over when Maruki wants to go with him. Maybe... he'll even say that they can go soon...
It's hard to truly want anything for himself right now. Generally, he avoids it anyway, but right now it feels... wrong. To want, or to feel happy.
However.
Leaning in to listen to what Maruki says, it's not what he's expecting. How Maruki acts about Akechi isn't what he's expecting at all, in fact, but there's at least one thing that remains true.
He leans back, lenses obscuring his eyes momentarily. The glasses positively gleam.]
It's a cute name, Maruki-san. I'm really looking forward to meeting her.
[It doesn't matter what else is going on, what else he's feeling, or who else may be involved. Akira is always down for gaslighting Akechi Goro.]
Unfortunately, it's true. She's so skittish. I've really been trying, but...
[ Ah, this Akira doesn't already know how bad he is with animals, how he'd try to rescue cats from trees and show up late to school with bandaged claw marks on his hands. Well, he'll learn in time.
And then, the affectation dropped in favor of hopeful sincerity again: ]
Our coffee setup is nowhere near as sophisticated as what you're probably used to, but you're free to use it whenever you'd like.
[ He almost tells Eren, when I met him, he lived at a café that made the best coffee I'd ever tasted, but he bites it back. Akira can tell his own story, in his own time. It isn't his place. ]
Please consider everything here yours as well, Kurusu-kun. I know that's difficult to do, I had a hard time when I first moved into the castle as well, but... it's your home too.
He wishes Maruki hadn't said that. Not now, maybe not for quite a while, but certainly not in front of Eren. He has to hold it together.
He can't cry, because he can't stand doing it in front of people. He cannot cry, because he has not earned it. He cannot cry, because just like the rest of the Phantom Thieves, Maruki's pain is greater than Akira's could ever be.
These are things Akira already knew. But it's good that Eren was able to confirm the things that still might've been in question.
He bows his head. Akira already knows his voice will come out unsteady, but if he doesn't look - it should be easier to control the rest of himself.]
...Thank you. I- [I shouldn't be taking this, but he can feel Eren's presence, maybe even his gaze, like a phantom limb. He must. He owes him this.] I'm grateful. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you...
[It would be difficult for him to not pay back a debt regardless of who it was. Like this, it's crushing. Something like this, on the level of what Sojiro did for him after so long under his roof...
Does Maruki even know, what effect the things he's saying have?]
If you'd like- if either of you would like, I can make some coffee. [He stands quickly, tries to move on from that moment.] I've worked with enough different equipment by now that I can figure it out.
[It'll give his hands something to do right now, too, which is something he sorely needs. Even if it's only for himself, he's probably making a cup.]
[Eren does watch Akira - closely. Maruki uses the word "home" much more freely than Eren does - they must define it in different ways. To offer one's home to someone else, though, is a grand gesture, in Eren's mind. Akira's right not to reject that kindness. To some extent, his amiability grates. Eren isn't sure if he finds it to be disingenuous or annoying; from what Maruki's told him, it must be the second one.
[Odd how Eren always condemns Akechi as a liar, but feels he prefers that deception over this authenticity, now that it's been placed in front of him. He still feels he understands his friend much better...
[Aside from that, Eren's already just made tea, so the coffee won't be necessary. Maruki can accept it if he'd like. Eren finishes his own task without offering.]
[ Maruki has spent half a year in Somnius. Before that, he spent half a year watching Kurusu Akira's every move. On paper, it's not a lot of time – but in practice, so much can happen in just six months.
He may not know this Akira, but he knows Akira. He knows the practiced, calm confidence that he exudes. The way he holds himself together, even while discussing difficult topics. The conviction that runs through him, keeps him upright against all the injustices thrown at him.
So the waver in his voice could be slight. It could be subtle. It could be next to nothing. Maruki would still hear it.
He gestures for Eren to come back around and sit next to him at the bar, chooses his words carefully, even as they come out casual as anything else. ]
Coffee would be great, thank you. And don't worry about making anything up to me. [ He waves a vague hand around as if to encompass the whole of the machiya as he speaks. ] I have more of what this place considers money and more space than I know what to do with... which, well– you can imagine how different that is from a counselor's life in Tokyo. Being able to freely share what I have is an opportunity I don't take lightly.
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His back is turned for a moment, so Akira takes the chance to smile bitterly at the floor, a secret between him and the mess.]
If I were close with them... If I could be, maybe things would be different.
[At least in Maruki's case, Akira hasn't done anything wrong, probably. But it doesn't change how Akira feels about it. Maybe it will simply be another leaden ball of guilt that he has to live with for the rest of his life.]
Akechi is someone that I failed. I don't even know for sure what he remembers, but... I understood him more than probably anyone I've ever met, and yet I couldn't save him when it counted. I should've been able to, but he saved me instead.
[And it cost him his life, he doesn't say, because if he has to talk about it anymore he'll unravel in front of someone he just met and that is not allowed even with people he does know. His hands are tight on the towel, so he forces himself to relax his grip before he damages the kindness that was shown to him.
He kneels down and cleans. It helps keep his mind centered, somehow.]
Maruki-san knows me. He was so happy to see me when I woke up in the gardens. But I- [His voice breaks. When he starts again, it's just the slightest bit more unsteady.] I've never met him. The things he said yesterday... I don't know if he knows how much it meant to me. But in my reality, or however it works, we've never met. He was never hired at my school. Yesterday he tried to cover it up, but... He looked at me like he was grieving, and I don't...
[I don't know how to fix it.
I don't know how to help him.
I wish the Kurusu Akira he was looking for had woken up here instead of me.
He doesn't say any of that, because it's his burden and fault to bear.]
They're important to me. [He's gotten most of the spill up now, and his hands are already starting to feel lost. Directionless.] But I don't know if I'm the Akira they need.
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[It isn't lost on him, by the way, that this must be the friend Akechi only managed to mention once; Eren can see now, too, that Kurusu isn't entirely an unfamiliar face - Eren has seen his corpse.
[So, Kurusu is important to them, but has this one earned the right to say the same?
[Eren continues to watch.]
That doesn't absolve you of responsibility.
My friends cherish you. I won't allow that to be abused.
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His tone is so controlled, but those words... He must be upset with him. Akira can't blame him for it, really. Especially not after seeing the way Maruki looked at him the day before. Akira wonders if he knows about that.
He deserves it, though, so he doesn't mind.]
It doesn't absolve me, no. But I don't intend to toss away their feelings, either. [His task is mostly complete, so he lets his gaze fall on Eren again.] Do you think that I do?
[What does Eren expect of him? What does he think of him? He wants to try and see.]
BABY BOY YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!!! YAMAS CEASE YOUR HURTFUL WORDS!!!
I only know that I'll be nearby. It's important we met today.
[He lets a moment or two's silence pass.]
Maruki speaks highly of you.
WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME HE'S [static noises]
It should make him feel better. Instead, it feels like a blow straight to his gut.
Maruki speaks highly of you, when he doesn't even know if he can live up those words. Maruki speaks highly of you, when "Akira" doesn't belong here. Maruki speaks highly of you, while "Akira" is the one who stole the heartfelt reunion that Maruki deserved.
Maruki saw the sky for him, and Akira didn't even know his name.]
The way he spoke... We must mean a lot to each other. [Must've. It's the only way. The pot ker-thuds into the sink, momentarily free of its responsibilities.] As for my intentions... My only intention is not to fail either of them more than I already have.
[It might be too late for that, honestly. But there's at least one thing he can try to do.]
If it's alright, I'd like to ask you something. You care about them, so I think you'll answer me honestly.
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Go on, then.
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He doesn't want to face the answer if it's a yes; he doesn't want to face the answer if it's a no. Both would be difficult to swallow for very different reasons.
But not wanting to doesn't mean he can't. He will, because it's something he has to do.]
Am I hurting them more by being here?
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That doesn't matter.
You have been listening, haven't you? [That "question" does not leave much room for rebuttal.
[He takes one step.
[Two.
[Three into the kitchen.]
You are here now. Regardless of your feelings, your intentions, your fears - you have a responsibility.
That's three times I've said it now.
[He puts a hand down on the counter, fingers breaching up at the knuckles, tense under pristine skin.]
Show up. Kurusu. As they will show up for you. Quit worrying whether you're a blight or a boon.
If they want you, they'll have you.
no subject
It doesn't matter? Of course it matters.
It matters that he stole away Maruki's most important person. It matters that Akechi is going to die for him.
It matters that-
...Then I'll be here, if and until that isn't what they need from me.
[Akira tilts his head back to look up at him, trying to assess what he'll do. There's a tension in his hands that he doesn't know how to read. Maybe Eren is holding himself back from something.
Maybe Akira wishes he wouldn't hold back at all.
Akira doesn't know how to give them what they need when he isn't even the person they need. But he has to try. There's no other choice but to try. He doesn't know what to do, so he'll have to figure it out.
Maruki wanted him here. It hurts, but it has to mean something.]
lmao oh these two are gonna be a mess WOOF THOSE BRACKETS AKIRA don't let eren know ur similar <3
["If" and "until" - no, no.]
You know your role, then.
We'll be seeing each other often. Suppose we ought to be friends. [He could not sound more disingenuous if he tried.]
FDHJKSDFJKSDFJKSDJK me waiting in the wings with the steel chair. i already love this so deeply.
Maybe it's just to keep an eye on him? Akira thinks that makes sense, so he should go along with it. That would be the best outcome for all of them; Eren can feel better about him being around if he's keeping an eye on him, and Akira can keep his head down so he doesn't make things any worse.]
It won't. But if you want to... I'd like that. You care about them a lot.
[It will never be enough. It will never make up for it.
Akira understands he can't fix what's lost. But he can at least do one thing right by them, and that's to try and understand the people that love them.
The mask he has to figure out now is "Kurusu Akira", and maybe that's the most difficult one of all.
Glancing around though... He really has to hurry now. How long has it been... Maruki could be up at any minute, and he has to restart the batch. Most of the ingredients are still laid out. He'll need to repay Maruki for what he lost as well...]
Are you hungry?
akira like "yes mommy whatever u say mommy yes mommy"
no subject
Maruki's eyes still feel swollen and bruised from the day before, even after knocking out for twelve hours minimum. He hears the hum of voices downstairs – something strange he'll have to get used to now, and so there's no thought in his head that it might be anyone other than Akira and Akechi, but– ]
Eren?
[ Asked through the end of his yawn as he finishes rubbing sleep from his eyes and knocks his glasses back down onto his face, blinking rapidly as groggy consciousness catches up to him.
A beat, and then he smiles at both of them, sleepy and subdued but genuine. ]
This is– oh, I'm so glad you two got to meet! I was hoping to make the introduction myself, but... [ That smile only grows wider, warmer, and then he spies all the food laid out. ] Kurusu-kun, is Eren helping you make breakfast?
[ As ever, the reality that exists only in Maruki Takuto's head is so much kinder than the truth. ]
here comes yes mommy #2
Eren also heard the creak like Akira did, Maruki is pleased but not exactly surprised - Akira never doubted him, but he can infer that Eren probably does spend a good portion of his time here. Maruki doen't use an honorific with him, so he's as close in Maruki's eyes as he is in Eren's. And lastly... Maruki has absolutely no clue about what's gone on in this kitchen.
It's better that the latter stays that way.]
Yes. [He nods, setting things out on the table. His voice is demure; it's the way he kept it around Sojiro when they first met, when he didn't know if he'd ever see the kindness underneath that gruff exterior, even directed at someone that wasn't Akira himself. The situation is different now, but it's still useful.] I'm still getting used to this place and made a few mistakes, so Eren-san helped correct me.
[It's a gamble. Akira never makes mistakes in the kitchen, not anymore. But he's still gambling on that "other reality's Akira" never cooking for Maruki, or at least not letting that particular fact slip.]
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You know I'm not much of a cook. [He looks toward Maruki.] I wanted to meet Kurusu on my own the first time. I knew you wouldn't allow that, so long as you were awake. That's all.
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He hesitates for a moment at the edge of the kitchen, then laughs at himself as he swings around to sit at the bar instead. ]
This is the first time I haven't had to cook breakfast myself in half a year. It's surreal being on the other side of things.
[ An elbow propped up on the bar counter, he rests his chin on his palm and watches the two of them fondly.
It's almost like Leblanc. Discussing the collective unconscious over coffee. That only adds to the dreamlike quality, really... ]
To catch you up to speed, Eren was one of the first people I met here. He actually let me stay with him while I was still brand new, before Akechi-kun and I moved in together. We've been friends ever since.
[ Not strictly true, as it leaves out the whole part where Eren was very much his patient, but there's no need to get into that. ]
He has a farm not far from here, I'll take you over sometime. They have so many cats...
[ He thinks to ask if the little black and white one stayed with the Sakuras when he left Tokyo, but drops the thought as soon as it comes to him. He knows he can and will chatter on to fill the silence, and that even if Akira doesn't recognize it as a nervous habit, Eren will. ]
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...There's cats there? [His head darts up, a hopeful sparkle in his eye before he remembers himself and smothers it down. He can't just ask for that. But if Maruki wants to go, then maybe-] If Eren-san is alright with it, that sounds really nice.
[There's a sort of peace about cats, about really any sort of animal. Akira's always loved them, but he also doesn't always have to be "on" with them. Right now, it sounds like a balm.]
You've known each other for a long time.
[He directs the attention away from himself, what could be an implication of what he likes. He hasn't been this careless in a while, but a lot has thrown him off recently.]
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Maruki stays at the farm. He's welcome to bring anyone he wants.
[...]
The barn is full of cats. [LOOK! He's trying.
[Who does a guy have to fuck to get some tea around here? He simply moves through the kitchen to start preparing it himself.]
Take one if you want.
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Well. He knows his best friend, that's all. So it's clear that he is trying, and Maruki beams with sleepy pride. ]
Akechi-kun might lose his mind if we get another cat... which means we should, of course.
[ He's about to ask Eren to start coffee for him too, then about to ask Akira if he still makes coffee even though he's no longer living in the café, and then both get swept from his mind as something far stronger than caffeine jolts into his system. ]
I should tell you now– [ Akechi could be anywhere. He beckons Akira closer and lowers his voice. ] I've made him believe there's a second cat here that he's just never seen. It's kind of a long story, but if you could help keep that ruse going... Eren's in on it too!
[ And then, back to his normal volume. ]
She's black and white, and I named her Neko-chan. I'm not very good at naming animals...
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It's hard to truly want anything for himself right now. Generally, he avoids it anyway, but right now it feels... wrong. To want, or to feel happy.
However.
Leaning in to listen to what Maruki says, it's not what he's expecting. How Maruki acts about Akechi isn't what he's expecting at all, in fact, but there's at least one thing that remains true.
He leans back, lenses obscuring his eyes momentarily. The glasses positively gleam.]
It's a cute name, Maruki-san. I'm really looking forward to meeting her.
[It doesn't matter what else is going on, what else he's feeling, or who else may be involved. Akira is always down for gaslighting Akechi Goro.]
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[Eren speaks from where he's putting the tea kettle on.]
She's not very friendly.
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Unfortunately, it's true. She's so skittish. I've really been trying, but...
[ Ah, this Akira doesn't already know how bad he is with animals, how he'd try to rescue cats from trees and show up late to school with bandaged claw marks on his hands. Well, he'll learn in time.
And then, the affectation dropped in favor of hopeful sincerity again: ]
Our coffee setup is nowhere near as sophisticated as what you're probably used to, but you're free to use it whenever you'd like.
[ He almost tells Eren, when I met him, he lived at a café that made the best coffee I'd ever tasted, but he bites it back. Akira can tell his own story, in his own time. It isn't his place. ]
Please consider everything here yours as well, Kurusu-kun. I know that's difficult to do, I had a hard time when I first moved into the castle as well, but... it's your home too.
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He wishes Maruki hadn't said that. Not now, maybe not for quite a while, but certainly not in front of Eren. He has to hold it together.
He can't cry, because he can't stand doing it in front of people. He cannot cry, because he has not earned it. He cannot cry, because just like the rest of the Phantom Thieves, Maruki's pain is greater than Akira's could ever be.
These are things Akira already knew. But it's good that Eren was able to confirm the things that still might've been in question.
He bows his head. Akira already knows his voice will come out unsteady, but if he doesn't look - it should be easier to control the rest of himself.]
...Thank you. I- [I shouldn't be taking this, but he can feel Eren's presence, maybe even his gaze, like a phantom limb. He must. He owes him this.] I'm grateful. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you...
[It would be difficult for him to not pay back a debt regardless of who it was. Like this, it's crushing. Something like this, on the level of what Sojiro did for him after so long under his roof...
Does Maruki even know, what effect the things he's saying have?]
If you'd like- if either of you would like, I can make some coffee. [He stands quickly, tries to move on from that moment.] I've worked with enough different equipment by now that I can figure it out.
[It'll give his hands something to do right now, too, which is something he sorely needs. Even if it's only for himself, he's probably making a cup.]
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[Odd how Eren always condemns Akechi as a liar, but feels he prefers that deception over this authenticity, now that it's been placed in front of him. He still feels he understands his friend much better...
[Aside from that, Eren's already just made tea, so the coffee won't be necessary. Maruki can accept it if he'd like. Eren finishes his own task without offering.]
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He may not know this Akira, but he knows Akira. He knows the practiced, calm confidence that he exudes. The way he holds himself together, even while discussing difficult topics. The conviction that runs through him, keeps him upright against all the injustices thrown at him.
So the waver in his voice could be slight. It could be subtle. It could be next to nothing. Maruki would still hear it.
He gestures for Eren to come back around and sit next to him at the bar, chooses his words carefully, even as they come out casual as anything else. ]
Coffee would be great, thank you. And don't worry about making anything up to me. [ He waves a vague hand around as if to encompass the whole of the machiya as he speaks. ] I have more of what this place considers money and more space than I know what to do with... which, well– you can imagine how different that is from a counselor's life in Tokyo. Being able to freely share what I have is an opportunity I don't take lightly.
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