abandonhumanity | PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

Yeah, I bet that does make you mad.

It's the truth.

Son of a bitch. [Not so much at Levi, but—] He’s listening. [And not because she regrets a word;] What kind of a fucked-up coma is that....

[The adrenaline for panic has long worn off. Levi has every right to hate him. Aubrey is tired. If it wasn’t for Levi she would’ve gotten herself and Eren out of here already, but she’s none too eager to show the Captain the house, the barracks—anywhere, really. And now Eren is just conscious enough to hear and respond without fully waking?

[Bullshit. Is it naive to wonder if there’s a lesson…?]

Levi— You wanted words with him, right? [She can imagine Eren is going to be thrilled about this.] Not like it’ll be much of a talk, but… I doubt he’d try to “endear” himself to you, anyway. Go for it.

[Sorry, Eren. But if it rouses him…]

[Levi's first instinct is to balk at the idea. Looking him in the eye when he talks to him is the least Eren Jaeger could do. It's almost an insult to his pride that Aubrey would even suggest singing him a goddamn lullaby.]

I believe I said "face to face".

[But it's true. Eren is listening. He's a captive - chained, jailed, kidnapped - just like always. God knows he'd turn tail and run if Levi tried to actually get him to have a conversation.]

You goddamn coward.

[All at once, he's speaking to Eren and Eren only.]

It's not enough to tell you good people died for your sake. You already know everything, right?

Your plan to save Paradis ignored the fact that The Rumbling had to start somewhere - but you probably know that too.

[What he might not know...What he should know...]

You should have heard the way Armin screamed when Mikasa brought him your goddamn ugly head.

[A whimper. The fist over his heart uncurls and falls limp. His brow is pinched in pain.]

So, you get it.

[His head is bowed, hair casting a dark shadow over his face. He's still sitting, one hand massaging at his bad knee.]

Those people loved you, Eren. They fought for you. Their whole lives, they fought for you, and you repaid them by bringing everything they fought for to dust.

Respect. You don't know the meaning of the word respect.

Respecting your comrades, their sacrifices - respecting yourself enough to stay alive and face the consequences.

But cowards have no respect. Cowards hide themselves away. Cowards only listen to themselves. Cowards flip the fucking chessboard when they think they can't win.

You're pathetic. You're a pathetic, piece of shit coward who decided his life was over before he could piss standing up.

[Levi speaks it into truth. No one will catch it happen - one moment, he's nineteen, long body curled around Aubrey as she cradles him; the next, he's ten years old again, curled up tight in Aubrey's lap, his little body trembling with fear. Tears squeeze themselves out of tightly shut eyes, running down his cheeks and hitting the dark floor. His little hands reach up to grip tightly at the fabric of Aubrey's shirt, clinging.]

[Levi still hasn't looked up.]

You're a stupid kid.

[There's an edge to his voice now; something pained.]

Barely out of diapers and we're resting the fate of all humanity on your shoulders.

Dammit, Eren.

[A three-fingered fist clenches around nothing.]

Maybe we never would have found what you were looking for. When you realize that, it's time to grow up and face the goddamn facts. There's no excuse for what you've done. There's no atonement.

[Not for Eren, and not for him.]

I told you to live your life with no regrets. [That painful, razor sharp edge hitting its peak.] Dying with them wasn't supposed to be an option.

[There's a pitiful sob. If Levi hadn't yet realized Eren's state, the youngness of the sound would make it obvious. He's still asleep - his eyes haven't opened - but he tugs more tightly on Aubrey's shirt, curls himself in as close as he possibly can. He begs to be held.]

[Something clicks. A hunch, maybe, but—
[If the nightmare made him feel like a helpless Scout again, then Levi’s words cut right to the terrified boy. Eviscerated by words; no weapons, no blood, just righteousness and tears. A decisive slice to the nape, just as ordered.

[And Eren’s clinging to her....]

[He’s ten. He’s just lost his mother, is maybe about to. He might as well be reaching through Aubrey, taking her heart in his hands and wringing it with every cry. She holds him; of course she holds him, arms wrapped around him the way they only can when he’s this small. Dying wasn’t supposed to be an option. Idiot. He’s just a kid....]

[Her own eyes sting. She pulls the boy close, tight, drooping her own head over his with a soft kiss. It’s impossible, everything he’s been through, put others through, done and failed to do and there’s no excuse, no atonement. It’s true. She won’t say it’s okay.

[A pathetic, stupid, selfish coward… The end of the world…
[A child.]

[To him, and him alone: I love you anyway.]

[All that talk about Eren being too young to piss by himself, and now, here he is, a literal child, crying and clinging to the closest thing that feels safe.]

Still running.

[Not man enough to face him, not man enough to stay a man. Levi is exhausted and aching.

[Twelve years old. Twelve years old and they made him a cadet.

[As ever, there are so very many people to blame. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Almost all of them are dead now.]

Fine. That's all I have to say. Maybe one day you'll have the balls to say something back.

[To Aubrey:]

What now?

[“Still running.” As if Eren wants to be this vulnerable.]

[“What now?”]
[Aubrey glares. It’s a desperate thing.]

What now? [Her voice cracks on the word.] What now— I don’t know. We live. We talk. We go somewhere else and do it all over again; I don’t. know.

[The glare drops. Still completely fucking useless, at the end of it all… but Eren clinging like this makes her at least feel wanted. Needed. Is that selfish?]

I just… I want him to wake up.

[She pulls him, again. No goddamn kicking. And yet she sounds utterly defeated.]

This can’t be on purpose.

[And here, clearly, a distraught wife who wants nothing more than to see her husband awake and alive once again.

[Yeah. Levi’s seen plenty of those in his time.]

He’s only sleeping. [His voice has lost all of its anger, all of its grief.]

He has a pulse to wake up to.

[Eren Jaeger is alive.]

We wait it out, then.

[He is only sleeping. And he’s in her arms. That’s more than can be said for last time, and the time before that.

[Just… different. Taking a nap. He’ll be back soon—he has to be.]

[Aubrey is tired. She dips her head over Eren’s again, and tries to take them somewhere else.]

[The walls melt away like the monsters it hides, but it stays dark. Really, they don’t end up far—Shiganshina again, under still leaves. But there’s no dappled moonlight or fireflies, no gentle breeze; the air is cold, and the distant walls are broken. Aubrey doesn’t look to see if the town remains; she doesn’t look up at all.

[It’s just them. The hill. The tree. Eren’s grave, somber and lonesome as it’s ever been.]

[It’s hard to imagine it was ever warm.]

[The world changes. One moment, they're in the dark cooridor; the next, they're in Shiganshina - almost Shiganshina, but not quite. Levi can see the town from where he's sitting - nothing more than rubble, as its been for almost a decade. It's only marginally less dark - enough that he can see Eren's grave. He doesn't like the feeling it gives him.

[Mercifully - suddenly - he's in a wheelchair. It's more comfortable than the ground. He doesn't mind it. It may be a little easier to see now - the bandage over his right eye, the stitches criss-crossing over his face, the bruises on any portion of skin that's showing, the three fingers on his hand. He's in more comfortable clothes - no ODM gear (not good). But there don't seem to be any titans around, despite it all.

[He assesses Aubrey.]

What brought us here?

[Eren feels heavier. When Aubrey looks again he’s 19, still in her arms, still asleep. Still breathing....

[And Levi is still there—above her now, in a wheelchair. Aubrey hadn’t paid much attention to his strained movements, the bandage, the stitches. In an instant, he’s gone from a soldier on the field to a veteran; weary all the same. Even in the dark, she can see that now. A shameful delay, really.]

I did. [A delayed answer, too.] Sometimes this world listens to intention… Not people. [Hell knows it won’t.] But places, if you focus enough.

Somehow… it’s not all bad.

[A world that bends to your intentions.

[He feels less assured about Eren as ever. So, he'll have to make sure that he's just as adept at the world-bending, to combat him if he needs to. Eyes falling on his old subordinate again, he feels a complicated tug.]

This place came from his memories. I'm assuming you already know that.

[The grave. There are flowers upon it. But here he is, above ground. Levi wonders if his head is buried beneath the fresh dirt.]

I do.

[And last time they were here, they danced. Aubrey wonders if Eren would’ve invited Levi, had he known. It’s normal to have guests....]

It’s… peaceful here, at least.

[The music is long over.]

If you take us somewhere else… be careful.

[His voice is quiet, solemn.]

I don’t have anywhere to take us.

[Home for Levi was always the people waiting there.]

Titans - have you seen them? Anywhere?

That thing that had you wasn’t like the others.

Edited 2023-11-22 18:48 (UTC)

[Her lip thins to a tense line.] He wasn’t.

And— No, not before that. Just memories. [Armin’s scream echoes; mercifully, it’s not shared.] Eren had a nightmare, before all this. I was wondering if you being here made it real.

[There’s no blame in the statement. Almost an idle deflection.]

["He" wasn't. Someone she knows, then. Titans - monsters, what have you - being humans is something that Levi still hasn't been able to reconcile. It hasn't stopped him, but the idea never settles any easier.

[He did what he had to do. No regrets.]

How so?

A combined memory, maybe. [Bertholdt, on the rooftops.] It’s happened before.

[It’s how he showed up. Even as a thought, there’s not much kindness in it.]

He?

[A friend.
[Damn it. Why is… Why that, and so immediate?]

[Aubrey frowns.] He’s dead. He should stay dead. [She shifts her hold on Eren, keeping him close.] He shouldn’t be here.

It seems this place doesn't discriminate between the dead and the living. I've got that right, don't I?

[He wonders why she wouldn't be happy to see an old friend; more and more, the pieces come together. Who did Levi just kill? Or maybe it's just too painful a thing to confront. He has no idea how he'd react if he actually got to touch Erwin again, or talk to Hange. The idea makes him want to either shudder or give into emotion. Maybe both.]

I don't suppose you have theories on what draws people to this world in the first place?

[No discrimination is right. Aubrey doesn’t answer that; Levi doesn’t need confirmation.]

[Eren met Basil. The real him is out there, somewhere. Not a shadow. Not a titan. Just a scared, lost little boy—
[He’s in Hell where he belongs.]

[Levi’s asking for theories. Heaven, Hell, deserved, random; there’s only one connecting tissue, and it doesn’t explain the cigarettes, but…]

I don’t know if it matters. [There’s leftover tension in her voice.] But for what it’s worth… everyone else, after me and Eren, I’d heard about before I saw them.

Maybe it’s some… chain of connection. [Worst game of telephone ever, really.]

3/3

no subject

1/??

2/we out here

3/he's not done yet

4/waluigi soundboard

5/one more one more

6/6(/6)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject