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[A grip to the throat, followed by a protective hand. He wonders how much Jean actually wished he would die when he was still young. Perhaps Eren isn't entitled to bitterness in a situation like this, but it comes anyway. What good is a promise to a liar? Eren's broken them before.
[It's a cold feeling; not empty, but cold, like being locked outside. Fingers find their way through the hair at the back of Jean's head. Eren has been staring for a long time.]
I'm looking for it. [The wristband would be with his belongings.]
I came here first, Jean.
[It's a cold feeling; not empty, but cold, like being locked outside. Fingers find their way through the hair at the back of Jean's head. Eren has been staring for a long time.]
I'm looking for it. [The wristband would be with his belongings.]
I came here first, Jean.
[Far as Aubrey can tell, he hasn’t forgotten a thing. He curls back. That’s enough.
[She squeezes him, tight; doesn’t release. She’d said she wouldn’t drag him back; stands by that, loves him all the same—feels weak enough to fall, all over again.
[It’s his voice.]
Did… [Her heart’s in her throat. He can’t have wanted to come back. Couldn’t....] Did you fly?
[The question makes Eren's limbs feel heavy. He wants to pull them both to the ground. It's a miserable question. He only ever could fly the height of a five-meter sky. It was always an illusion.
[He knows what she's asking, though, he thinks. That, or maybe this is just an easier answer.]
I lived my life through to its end.
This is what's left now. [Aubrey, in his arms, like she should be. He can't bring himself to find it a good thing. It's something, though.]
I won't leave again until the fight is done. [He's tired.]
[He knows what she's asking, though, he thinks. That, or maybe this is just an easier answer.]
I lived my life through to its end.
This is what's left now. [Aubrey, in his arms, like she should be. He can't bring himself to find it a good thing. It's something, though.]
I won't leave again until the fight is done. [He's tired.]
Simply be...
[He mutters the words between them as if trying to decipher them. He doesn't seem to understand.
[Quieter; he really doesn't.]
What good will that do?
[He mutters the words between them as if trying to decipher them. He doesn't seem to understand.
[Quieter; he really doesn't.]
What good will that do?
[Sometimes, Eren finds himself thinking that Thorfinn is a frightful creature. He's ready to attack, and that isn't a bad thing; still, Eren finds himself thinking this.
[Just as quickly, he's stunned, left half-speechless. They loved each other. Eren still does. He knows that, at least.
[Eren wants to reach; he's forgotten how.]
Four years, I think. For me. [He flicks idly at the back of his own ear.] It feels like more. [To put it lightly.]
[Just as quickly, he's stunned, left half-speechless. They loved each other. Eren still does. He knows that, at least.
[Eren wants to reach; he's forgotten how.]
Four years, I think. For me. [He flicks idly at the back of his own ear.] It feels like more. [To put it lightly.]
It did a lot of good before.
[ He holds a preemptive hand up between them, stops a protest before it starts. ]
I know you're different now. I know. But that doesn't change what I'm telling you.
[ And then, the hand replaced on his shoulder, firm and grounding. Maruki expects this to take a long time. Maybe the whole rest of the time that they have together in Somnius. It doesn't matter. His patience is eternal, as is his stubbornness, and his conviction is pure. Eren might as well be looking at the sun. ]
I helped you before, and I'll help you again. Just watch me.
[ He holds a preemptive hand up between them, stops a protest before it starts. ]
I know you're different now. I know. But that doesn't change what I'm telling you.
[ And then, the hand replaced on his shoulder, firm and grounding. Maruki expects this to take a long time. Maybe the whole rest of the time that they have together in Somnius. It doesn't matter. His patience is eternal, as is his stubbornness, and his conviction is pure. Eren might as well be looking at the sun. ]
I helped you before, and I'll help you again. Just watch me.
[Another voice calls his name, familiar. Eren feels something creeping on his shoulders before he turns.
[Hythlodaeus is as much a vision as ever; unforgettable, though Eren's mind is a jumbled mess of memory and time. He'd felt in passing that someone had yet been left to wonder. It's clear now who his memory had reached for.
[The true name is longer, but Eren took to calling him--]
Hyth.
[Hythlodaeus is as much a vision as ever; unforgettable, though Eren's mind is a jumbled mess of memory and time. He'd felt in passing that someone had yet been left to wonder. It's clear now who his memory had reached for.
[The true name is longer, but Eren took to calling him--]
Hyth.
[“I lived my life through to its end.” The weight sinks. It’s over. It’s never over. He won’t leave again—until.
[He can’t rest. He’s so young....
[Aubrey reaches for his face. There are other questions, somewhere. Timelines. Too-powerful forces. Futures of bloodshed and disparate histories of grief. In their old and hallowed training ground—they don’t not matter, but…
[She thumbs over Eren’s cheek, tracing lines that aren’t there. Has to lean up to kiss him, now, more than before. That’s alright. As long as Eren’s here, Aubrey will be with him, too—wants to be....]
[A silence has grown, slowly, over time, in Eren. Words come easily in anger or manipulation, but as for his own mind? His own feelings?
[When was the last time he could just be? He can't remember. He's not sure if there ever was a time at all.
[Dull eyes stare at Maruki's, which are warm enough for the both of them; the sun, yes. What Eren's searching for is unclear even to him.]
You did. I remember.
[But it is different. He's not the same. Hope is well and truly gone. There's no point in even being angry anymore. He hasn't felt it yet, really.]
I don't...know where to begin.
[When was the last time he could just be? He can't remember. He's not sure if there ever was a time at all.
[Dull eyes stare at Maruki's, which are warm enough for the both of them; the sun, yes. What Eren's searching for is unclear even to him.]
You did. I remember.
[But it is different. He's not the same. Hope is well and truly gone. There's no point in even being angry anymore. He hasn't felt it yet, really.]
I don't...know where to begin.
Is that so? How fortunate.
[It doesn't matter if he does. Akechi's voice remains neutral, feigned smile plastered. Eren remembers. Whatever. He doesn't give a shit. ]
It can't be helped then. I didn't want you to feel compelled to speak because we were previously acquainted. Ah, well - of course I'm pleased to know you remember me, though it's a shame you were brought back.
[Akechi can't stand him. Shifts his body, adjusts his stance, lets a hand fall to his hip. ]
Nothing has changed. If you need help getting adjusted to the surroundings, feel free to contact me.
[It doesn't matter if he does. Akechi's voice remains neutral, feigned smile plastered. Eren remembers. Whatever. He doesn't give a shit. ]
It can't be helped then. I didn't want you to feel compelled to speak because we were previously acquainted. Ah, well - of course I'm pleased to know you remember me, though it's a shame you were brought back.
[Akechi can't stand him. Shifts his body, adjusts his stance, lets a hand fall to his hip. ]
Nothing has changed. If you need help getting adjusted to the surroundings, feel free to contact me.
[He waited so long for this kiss - for Aubrey's kiss.
[She doesn't realize how remarkable it is, he doesn't think. Aubrey worried over others and their affections. They talked about it, but Eren never left feeling as though she understood. She is not Mikasa - she is not any of them. She stumbled in from the Enchanted Garden and enchanted him. They were always meant for this.
[The kiss is warm; Eren is capable. Broad hands cup her face, slide to her shoulders, back up to the base of her skull.
[He loves her desperately. He has.]
I'm selfish. [He murmurs this against her lips.] You're still here. I'm glad...
[She doesn't realize how remarkable it is, he doesn't think. Aubrey worried over others and their affections. They talked about it, but Eren never left feeling as though she understood. She is not Mikasa - she is not any of them. She stumbled in from the Enchanted Garden and enchanted him. They were always meant for this.
[The kiss is warm; Eren is capable. Broad hands cup her face, slide to her shoulders, back up to the base of her skull.
[He loves her desperately. He has.]
I'm selfish. [He murmurs this against her lips.] You're still here. I'm glad...
[There's relief in his expression as he moves to sit beside his friend, and without so much as a warning he grasps his hand and holds it to his still-hammering heart.]
Oh, Eren. I feared you had forgotten me. What happened?
[He peers down at him, and knows exactly what happened without an answer given. All of those terrible things he said that he did, came to pass. He doesn't let go of the hand he'd snatched for his own. He merely holds it as his heartrate settles.]
No... never mind that. I know what happened. And yet, to think all of that happened in the short time you were gone... we were so worried when you failed to return with us. I've been searching for your soul every day!
[He almost, almost sounds huffy about that fact. As if Eren inconvenienced him greatly by making him worry. But mostly, he was simply heartbroken until he saw that glimmer of stormy green amongst the other souls.]
Oh, Eren. I feared you had forgotten me. What happened?
[He peers down at him, and knows exactly what happened without an answer given. All of those terrible things he said that he did, came to pass. He doesn't let go of the hand he'd snatched for his own. He merely holds it as his heartrate settles.]
No... never mind that. I know what happened. And yet, to think all of that happened in the short time you were gone... we were so worried when you failed to return with us. I've been searching for your soul every day!
[He almost, almost sounds huffy about that fact. As if Eren inconvenienced him greatly by making him worry. But mostly, he was simply heartbroken until he saw that glimmer of stormy green amongst the other souls.]
Nothing has changed.
You're right about that.
[Eren closes the distance between them; stops only when they're chest to chest.]
You haven't escaped me. You aren't fooling anyone. Certainly not yourself, Akechi.
You're right about that.
[Eren closes the distance between them; stops only when they're chest to chest.]
You haven't escaped me. You aren't fooling anyone. Certainly not yourself, Akechi.
That's okay.
[ Heat rises up behind his eyes again before he can stop it, and they shine as he grins, shakes his head, jostles Eren. ]
That's okay. Eren. I don't expect you to.
[ He can't make Eren understand anything at the moment. He can only be here for him as the slurry of his mind slowly sifts and settles, as much as it ever will.
It's an honor, really. He can't make Eren understand that, either. ]
You don't need to do anything. Just– come rest. [ A beat, and a slightly sheepish, watery laugh. ] When you're done seeing everyone else, I mean. I don't presume I take precedence.
[ Heat rises up behind his eyes again before he can stop it, and they shine as he grins, shakes his head, jostles Eren. ]
That's okay. Eren. I don't expect you to.
[ He can't make Eren understand anything at the moment. He can only be here for him as the slurry of his mind slowly sifts and settles, as much as it ever will.
It's an honor, really. He can't make Eren understand that, either. ]
You don't need to do anything. Just– come rest. [ A beat, and a slightly sheepish, watery laugh. ] When you're done seeing everyone else, I mean. I don't presume I take precedence.
I see time hasn't done your attitude any favors.
[Oh, he's not moving. Eren is close enough to strangle. To attack. To do anything and-
Akechi stands there - holds his ground. Smile waning, irritation apparent. ]
I don't know what you're implying - why would I want to escape an old friend? My, I couldn't be happier.
[Oh, he's not moving. Eren is close enough to strangle. To attack. To do anything and-
Akechi stands there - holds his ground. Smile waning, irritation apparent. ]
I don't know what you're implying - why would I want to escape an old friend? My, I couldn't be happier.
[Eren has aggravated Aubrey before; infuriated, even. Feels like lifetimes ago now. It didn’t last; couldn’t.
[She can’t imagine ever being upset with him again. That won’t last, either. She doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. Eren says he’s glad, and he doesn’t smile anymore, and Aubrey believes him.]
Then… I’m selfish, too. [He doesn’t want to be here. It’s what’s left. Aubrey’s hands slide back, around his neck, over his nape; he’s held her there before. The impulse is secondhand; there all the same.] I missed you....
[Eren's hand is taken, and he doesn't pull it away. What reason is there to pull away anymore? His body feels like it's full of sand. He's easy to move around.
[Still, the sentiment surprises him - echoes some old surprise. It's a lesson Eren will never learn, maybe, that people are sorry to see him go.
[He unfolds his hand, palm pressed against Hythlodaeus' heart, racing. He looks into the eyes of his friend. He's been at a loss for words all day - hasn't used them as anything but tools in a much longer time.]
You recognized it. [Of course he did.]
Then, it's still the same.
[Still, the sentiment surprises him - echoes some old surprise. It's a lesson Eren will never learn, maybe, that people are sorry to see him go.
[He unfolds his hand, palm pressed against Hythlodaeus' heart, racing. He looks into the eyes of his friend. He's been at a loss for words all day - hasn't used them as anything but tools in a much longer time.]
You recognized it. [Of course he did.]
Then, it's still the same.
[ Which of them is really the frightful creature here? Though Thorfinn remains unafraid of Eren. Thorfinn is hard to scare, though. He'd be dead otherwise. He just shoves his fear away with everything else until it burns into anger.
He's still not angry now, though. He almost wants to be. Anger is an old, familiar friend. He wears it differently after being in Somnius so long, even with the war. ]
Four years?
[ That sounds impossible. But he knows other people are from other points in time, and he knows… ]
Are you a draugr?
[ He realises Eren might not know that word. ]
A…a ghost. Are you a ghost?
[ That's not exactly the same thing, but he's not sure how else to ask. He knows Eren dies in the future. His revenge succeeds but he dies for it. Jean told Thorfinn Eren got to die in battle, but even without knowing the whole situation, that no longer seems like a good thing to Thorfinn.
Death is still just death, and Valhalla sounds like a lot like hell. He loves Eren too much to wish hell on him. (He loves his father too much for that, too, but he can't let go of his revenge, hypocrisy and all.) ]
You remember me.
[ That isn't a question, but the space between them feels impossible to cross. Eren was younger than him by a couple years and is now older than him by a year. What the hell. ]
Did you make a new wish?
He's still not angry now, though. He almost wants to be. Anger is an old, familiar friend. He wears it differently after being in Somnius so long, even with the war. ]
Four years?
[ That sounds impossible. But he knows other people are from other points in time, and he knows… ]
Are you a draugr?
[ He realises Eren might not know that word. ]
A…a ghost. Are you a ghost?
[ That's not exactly the same thing, but he's not sure how else to ask. He knows Eren dies in the future. His revenge succeeds but he dies for it. Jean told Thorfinn Eren got to die in battle, but even without knowing the whole situation, that no longer seems like a good thing to Thorfinn.
Death is still just death, and Valhalla sounds like a lot like hell. He loves Eren too much to wish hell on him. (He loves his father too much for that, too, but he can't let go of his revenge, hypocrisy and all.) ]
You remember me.
[ That isn't a question, but the space between them feels impossible to cross. Eren was younger than him by a couple years and is now older than him by a year. What the hell. ]
Did you make a new wish?
[Eren hates to see him crying, of course. It's not something that Maruki does. To that end, he's grateful to see it too. He doesn't think Maruki would show almost anyone else. This is what Eren's asked him for. They can both "just be" for at least a little while.
[He thumbs Maruki's tears away with no fanfare, then knocks his glasses back onto his nose. It might seem like a playful gesture - really, it's an awkward, aimless one.]
I'd like to be with you for a while.
[He thumbs Maruki's tears away with no fanfare, then knocks his glasses back onto his nose. It might seem like a playful gesture - really, it's an awkward, aimless one.]
I'd like to be with you for a while.
Of course I recognised it. It's... brighter still, somehow. And yet at the same time, it's somewhat ragged around the edges. 'Tis something I had seen in Emet-Selch- that world-weariness. Yet the hue didn't change at all. I knew it was you in an instant.
[Finally, he smiles.]
Maruki was right. That you would not leave without saying goodbye. Full glad am I that he spoke true.
[Squeezing the hand at his heart, he glances down at their linked fingers.]
I missed you.
[Finally, he smiles.]
Maruki was right. That you would not leave without saying goodbye. Full glad am I that he spoke true.
[Squeezing the hand at his heart, he glances down at their linked fingers.]
I missed you.
Isn't this embarrassing for you?
I already told you. You aren't fooling anyone. You never have.
I already told you. You aren't fooling anyone. You never have.
[OH.
OKAY.]
You should be the one that's embarrassed. Not to be rude, of course. I'm simply comparing situations.
You leave all your little sycophants in disarray, cause messes for others to clean up and tore your way back to your own reality, only to fail at even staying there - what a disappointment.
OKAY.]
You should be the one that's embarrassed. Not to be rude, of course. I'm simply comparing situations.
You leave all your little sycophants in disarray, cause messes for others to clean up and tore your way back to your own reality, only to fail at even staying there - what a disappointment.
Not to be rude, of course.
[Eren shoves him. It's light enough.]
Be rude. I'm curious what that's like.
[Eren shoves him. It's light enough.]
Be rude. I'm curious what that's like.
[OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY OH OKAY.]
[Akechi would never shove him back - it's not the princely thing to do.
But he does place both hands against Eren's chest, and lightly pushes him backwards, so gently, so kindly. Get the fuck away from him.]
No. I wouldn't dream of being rude intentionally - that would be stooping to your level and I'm far above it.
But he does place both hands against Eren's chest, and lightly pushes him backwards, so gently, so kindly. Get the fuck away from him.]
No. I wouldn't dream of being rude intentionally - that would be stooping to your level and I'm far above it.
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