PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[abandonhumanity]

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge the other.

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[abandonhumanity]

["You're here," Reiner says. Those two words have become their most common greeting; if one of them isn't murmuring it, the other is. "You're here." - they might as well be saying, "I'm safe."

[They've both watched each other deteriorate over the past several years. Eren hasn't remained fifteen, and Reiner hasn't remained seventeen. The world they live in every day is reflected in the dark circles under their eyes, the lines on their young faces.

[Here, a silent agreement was made, never needing to be spoken; here, they will not allow themselves to continue decaying. Here, Eren will take Reiner's face in his hands, thumb brushing over cheek. Here, Eren will kiss the man that he loves, and he will hold that kiss for as long as it takes, and he will kiss him again.

[He presses their foreheads together, hands still cupping Reiner's face.

[Once they're both dead, will they be able to hold each other like this?]

I'm here.

[nohero]

[ In some ways, Eren's kisses hurt more than cruel words ever could. They're filled with the love they still share, one that even betrayal and heartbreak couldn't destroy entirely, only lacing it with darker things. They make Reiner crave in a way that he never does anymore, slogging through his daily life, putting one foot in front of the other because that's what he has to do. They make Reiner want. They make him wish.

What a cruel thing, to so desperately desire the one person Reiner knows he can never have again. Not outside of this place, this escape where the world can't touch them. Only here can he feel Eren's hands on his face, cheekbones prominent now, stubble on his jaw. Only here can he taste Eren's lips.

Reiner's eyes close as Eren presses their foreheads together, his arms tightening around Eren's waist. Taking a moment to just breathe Eren in, memorizing his scent for the umpteenth time. ]

You got taller.

[ Did he? Or is Reiner misremembering again? ]

[abandonhumanity]

[There is some cruelty, maybe, to this entire thing. There is, after all, a hatred in Eren; it curls inside of him like black smoke - all that's left over from the fire of passion he used to feel for things like freedom and hope. It's an emotion so black and buried that it devours almost anything that touches it.

[Yet here they are, and there is love too. There is a love so great that nothing has been able to extinguish it, no matter how wrong it is. In some ways, Eren thinks this is all that's right. They don't live in a world that allows rightness. That's why he's razing it to the ground.

[They both know about that by now, and Reiner is saying, "You got taller," as if they're both normal people.

[Even here, there's not much warmth to Eren's voice; there's not much of anything to Eren's voice, really. Every time they meet, he's more of a husk. But his hands are warm, and their foreheads are still pressed together. When Eren pulls away, still holding his face, to look at him, there is, at least, a little something behind his eyes - a light, but deep affection.]

You're so tired.

[His voice is almost appraising, but there's that understanding of their sameness their too. It could sound sympathetic.

[Eren knows he's part of the cause; another small cruelty, too, to momentarily take weight from Reiner's shoulder that he knows he's put there in the first place.]