PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[abandonhumanity]

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge the other.

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[headhooligan]

[It doesn’t—quite—make sense.

[The rifle in his mouth. And yet these emotions, these visions—all too vivid if the man is long dead.

[What keeps him going, then? His mirror?

[Surely whatever it is can’t be found here. Not any more concretely than a rooftop vision.]

[Aubrey is surprised, really, that the answer wasn’t “From me.”

[In what is perhaps another small mercy, she decides not to press it.] We don’t have to talk about him. [Voluntarily, anyway. They both know damn well the world can force it.] But if he comes up again…

[She trails off for a moment. The temptation is there, once more, to take Eren’s hand; she won’t tempt fate, though.
[“Steel yourself” sounds too strong. “Get used to it” sounds impossible.]
I guess… be ready. [As any of them ever can be.]

icons that will jump scare you considering the context

[abandonhumanity]

[At this, Eren hangs his head for a moment, mouth breaking into the smallest of smiles, paired with a short exhale. A scoff? A laugh? Something in between, maybe. But he doesn't look like he's about to start cackling about flattening Liberio again. The look on his face contradicts himself; cold, but warm, empty, but filled to the brim. There's fondness, there's hatred, there's pain, there's a balm.

["Be ready."

[For Reiner Braun? Never.

[And there's only two people in the world who could ever understand.

[Quietly, with that odd laugh still in his voice:]

You think he'll show up? Could be...

[The smile fades.

[Maybe here, in this half-real place, if he could only get a few minutes alone with him...

[...]

Let's hope that doesn't happen.

[The dark edge returning to his voice:]

For his sake.

love that

[headhooligan]

[At least it’s not a startling, barking “laugh” again. The odd sensation of navigating landmines lingers. It’s what she gets for trying to be tactful, Aubrey supposes.]

[Dare she mention Bertholdt? Dare she not? Another traitor, too close to the source. Aubrey doesn’t like this conversation.

[She doesn’t like feeling uneasy around Eren, again. It’s not that he’d hurt her, she knows that…

[—Reiner’s not her responsibility.]

Right. [Aubrey exhales with a short huff; it’s not much of a laugh.] It’s… simpler if it’s just us. And Armin. [Not an intentional afterthought. He’s added complications in his own right, is the thing—but he and Eren can work past those, right?] No one else.

[abandonhumanity]

[At this, an unwelcome spark in Eren's memory.

[Basil. Aubrey can never know.

[It's time to put this topic to rest.]

Agreed.

Let's continue the game.

[headhooligan]

[Oh, thank god.]

[Visibly relaxing, Aubrey nods and points to Eren.] First. [His turn; or the word, if he prefers.]

[abandonhumanity]

Place.

[headhooligan]

Here.

[abandonhumanity]

Stuck.

[headhooligan]

[Still? Ouch.]
…Together.

[abandonhumanity]

[Reaching over, he hooks one of his fingers with one of her own. Mercifully, no memory is shared between them.]

Bond.

[headhooligan]

[Better. There’s probably something to be said for “stuck + together = bond,” but… one word at a time, yeah?]

Close. [Aubrey hooks back.]

[abandonhumanity]

[It isn't lost on Eren that Aubrey and he can be positively sickening, but he doesn't mind it one bit. It's something Jean and the others would have busted his balls about back in the Cadet or Survey Corps; that's a fond mental image. All that being said, he takes his other hand and lays it, knuckles down, against Aubrey's cheek.]

Warmth.

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey, for one, doesn’t feel like she has a lot to… hm, what, hide? be embarrassed about? Maybe not quite that. But c’mon, Eren wrapped her wound in a barracks. So what if the Aubrey who met him never would’ve believed this? She believes it now. And no one’s going to tease her about it; just Eren. It’s fine; more than fine.]

[Tilting her head into his hand, Aubrey uses her free hand to run her palm up Eren’s cheek, flicking playfully at the stray hairs.] Mine.

[abandonhumanity]

[With the ghost of a smile on his lips.]

Detriment.

[headhooligan]

[Who knew that word could sound so sweet.]

Y— [Actually.]
Ours.

[And she leans in for a kiss.]

[abandonhumanity]

[With his hand still on her cheek, it's easy to lean into the kiss. He slips the hand behind her ear, fingers intertwining themselves through pink strands of hair. They fit together too nicely; this was always inevitable, of course.

[He doesn't fully pull away once the kiss is broken.

[He can almost picture what it would be like if he'd met Aubrey back on Paradis. Maybe they'd be married by now. She'd be in the crowd, watching as the Scouts returned through the gates, searching for him.

[What a miserable life that would be; but, for Eren, a home to return to, no matter where she was waiting. It's not a terrible thought, all things considered...]

Return.

[headhooligan]

[She really never will tire of Eren’s lips on hers, his hand in her hair. Aubrey runs her fingers through his in turn, much as she can get through with strands pulled back in that messy bun, and stays there even when the kiss breaks.

[Maybe Aubrey’s projecting, but the way he looks at her… Always, always, always. Maybe he’s thinking of it, too.]

[His word surprises her.]

Hm? [Not a word, just a sound. If they’re still playing, she can only get so far…]

Where? [Maybe he wants to go back to the tree? Aubrey’s happy to help visualize, if he’d like.]

[abandonhumanity]

["Home" should be the answer - it is the answer, really, but...right now he's thinking of a home where returning means seeing her again; dancing in the market, maybe.]

You.

[Maybe he should explain, but...it feels better not to. He's stuck in a fantasy of his own making.]

[headhooligan]

[He… means returning to her, right? He can’t possibly be bringing up that would-be vow again.

[No… not when he’s looking at her like that. Aubrey tells herself that the passing anxiety is a good thing; she’s excited for a forever with Eren Jaeger. Nothing more.]

[She raises her other hand to his chest. Wherever he wants her…] Yours.

[abandonhumanity]

[She raises her hand to his chest, and he mirrors her, placing his own above her heart where he can feel the beat (well above any area someone might take offense to, mind you).]

Yours.

[There's a short pause. He almost wants to smile, thinking of what he'll say next. He wonders if it'll get on her nerves.]

You would have made a good wife back home. That's what I'm thinking about.

[Back home where a sixteen-year-old getting married wouldn't have necessarily been out of the norm.]

[headhooligan]

[—Oh. That’s…]

[Eren will find her heart beating a little faster, and her face turning significantly redder.] Hah… Wait, w-wait, we just— Isn’t that…?

[An internal reminder: He was twelve.]

I haven’t thought about it that way. [Stupidly, this is all Aubrey can say for the moment. She’s more… baffled, than anything. Flattered? Surprised? It’s just a thought. He’s not suggesting anything further. Right…?]

[abandonhumanity]

[Just a thought. He actually does smile at her reaction, small as his smiles always are (the fact she can bring them out at all is impressive). He thinks anyone would be hard pressed not to smile at the face Aubrey is making, though (the blush included).]

I'm not asking you to marry me.

Only saying. Back when I was in the Survey Corps, you'd have been someone worth fighting for - something to come home to.

It's a compliment.

[headhooligan]

—Oh. Hah, yeah, of course. [There’s an “I knew that” in the tone, but that is patent bullshit and does not make it to words.]

[It’s a bittersweet compliment, all context considered. Aubrey can’t say she’d want to be someone to come home to, not if that homecoming was always a roulette. The idea of being that important to someone, though, to Eren—it excites her all the same.] …Thanks.

[She leans just a bit closer into him.] You’d be a catch where I’m from, too, I guess. [The last two words are a tease; the rest of the sentiment, very much not. It’s funny to think of Eren, ever-deadpan stoic Eren, as some leather-studded badboy. Not like that describes him in another universe or anything.] Anyone would be lucky to have you.

[abandonhumanity]

[The sentiment doesn't exactly find him ill, but it's not one he's too prone on agreeing with. Maybe back when he was fifteen he would have said he was a catch, but a lot has happened since then. He almost wonders if Aubrey's forgotten, or if, perhaps, her feelings for him are starting to cloud her judgment a bit; he's not really sure how he feels about that either. It's not as if he wants her to dislike him; still...]

I can't imagine myself in a world like yours. [That's the honest truth.]

I don't think they'd know what to do with me.

[He wouldn't know what to do with himself.]

[headhooligan]

[The first part’s a fair statement. It’s just a passing thought, after all, no more believable than Aubrey as a rural wife.

[But, ah…] “Do with you”? [A curious look.] Well, I mean— You’d be different, anyway. [Aubrey shrugs.] Just a thought.