[It always was, but that isn't what he's saying. He fails to put it into truer terms. He learned to lie - to those he hated, to those he loved, to everyone.
[Everyone.
[And he can't stop. He lies to Maruki without even meaning to, for all he doesn't say. He withholds everything, because he had to in order to keep the hurricane of emotions always raging inside of him at bay. The numbness was as much a choice as an inevitability.
[But he'll try, explain a bit more. Something in him trusts that Maruki will understand regardless of what he does or doesn't say - or that he'll talk to him until he can understand. Something like that...]
Once I knew I would be acting on my own, I had to learn to control what I was saying.
no subject
[It always was, but that isn't what he's saying. He fails to put it into truer terms. He learned to lie - to those he hated, to those he loved, to everyone.
[Everyone.
[And he can't stop. He lies to Maruki without even meaning to, for all he doesn't say. He withholds everything, because he had to in order to keep the hurricane of emotions always raging inside of him at bay. The numbness was as much a choice as an inevitability.
[But he'll try, explain a bit more. Something in him trusts that Maruki will understand regardless of what he does or doesn't say - or that he'll talk to him until he can understand. Something like that...]
Once I knew I would be acting on my own, I had to learn to control what I was saying.