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[ The kettle clicks off, water percolating steadily inside. Maruki slides off the stool to come around to the other side of the bar, pours Eren's tea as he speaks. ]
You could certainly do deliveries for Thermo– or even help Jean and I with the cooking, honestly! There are other options, though, if you didn't want to work with me, hah...
[ Tea set in front of Eren, Maruki leans a hip against the counter and ticks the options off on his fingers. ]
A good friend of mine, Dolph Laserhawk, runs a club that can always use bartenders and servers. [ Crossroads. ] There aren't many restaurants here, not like what we're used to in Tokyo, but I bet you could get a job working at one that the native inhabitants run. [ Ore no Beko. ] Other people I know have their own shops too– Iris-san has something like a drugstore, and Basil-kun runs a flower shop... [ Triple Seven, Rafflesia.
Maruki pauses, then smiles brightly at Akira as he heads back to his seat. ]
Working during my first few months here helped me to settle in better. Like you said, it feels strange not to. I'll put in a good recommendation for you wherever you go.
You could certainly do deliveries for Thermo– or even help Jean and I with the cooking, honestly! There are other options, though, if you didn't want to work with me, hah...
[ Tea set in front of Eren, Maruki leans a hip against the counter and ticks the options off on his fingers. ]
A good friend of mine, Dolph Laserhawk, runs a club that can always use bartenders and servers. [ Crossroads. ] There aren't many restaurants here, not like what we're used to in Tokyo, but I bet you could get a job working at one that the native inhabitants run. [ Ore no Beko. ] Other people I know have their own shops too– Iris-san has something like a drugstore, and Basil-kun runs a flower shop... [ Triple Seven, Rafflesia.
Maruki pauses, then smiles brightly at Akira as he heads back to his seat. ]
Working during my first few months here helped me to settle in better. Like you said, it feels strange not to. I'll put in a good recommendation for you wherever you go.
[It occurs to him the moment their foreheads touch that Eren has a death wish. Knew it, in the moments after his return to this reality. It didn't register until this moment.
Eren doesn't hesitate - risks the movement to connect them again. Akechi doesn't pull back - a reward and warning all at once. If Eren can mutter out that request through the binding force around his throat, then-]
Go on then. Say it and I'll decide whether to indulge you.
Eren doesn't hesitate - risks the movement to connect them again. Akechi doesn't pull back - a reward and warning all at once. If Eren can mutter out that request through the binding force around his throat, then-]
Go on then. Say it and I'll decide whether to indulge you.
Edited 2024-12-03 02:19 (UTC)
I would expect him to be.
I wanted to give him something too. I didn't want it to come from Jean, so I made something. I don't think it came out quite right though.
I wanted to give him something too. I didn't want it to come from Jean, so I made something. I don't think it came out quite right though.
cw: suicidal ideation, murder, assault??? all sorts of fucked up shit
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abandonhumanity
2024-12-03 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
[Eren tries for a deep breath. He tries for a deep breath because he knows that he can't take one. Akechi Goro doesn't truly hold Eren's life in his hands - if Eren wanted to survive him, he could.
[But he doesn't want to survive Akechi. He wants Akechi to eat him whole. He wants Akechi to take out every ounce of wretched anger that lives inside of him on a worthy target - one who understands the beauty of that rage.]
Kiss me.
[His voice is weak, tight. He continues anyway.]
Once a day. When I see you in the morning. That's all.
[But he doesn't want to survive Akechi. He wants Akechi to eat him whole. He wants Akechi to take out every ounce of wretched anger that lives inside of him on a worthy target - one who understands the beauty of that rage.]
Kiss me.
[His voice is weak, tight. He continues anyway.]
Once a day. When I see you in the morning. That's all.
[It feels difficult to admit for some reason. He doesn't feel embarrassed, but he feels exposed. It's only Maruki, but the last few times they've danced near the topic of Eren's mother, it's led to misery. Maruki deserves a decent night.
[Eren will handle himself. He'll be fine.]
That bread I shared with you. Jean and Mikasa put together a recipe. I can't remember when.
[Eren will handle himself. He'll be fine.]
That bread I shared with you. Jean and Mikasa put together a recipe. I can't remember when.
[There's a space of silence here. Eren types and deletes. For whatever reason, what he wants to say now is more difficult to put into words than anything.]
I don't want Dolph to think that he's only part of Jean to me.
I don't want Dolph to think that he's only part of Jean to me.
[ Maruki doesn't know how they all do it. Genuinely, there's nothing he understands less. He has to belong to one person, and one person has to belong to him, both in totality. Anything less would kill him faster than solitude would.
But the way that they go about things seems right. As right as he can imagine, if he truly stretches his mind to its limits, at least. Ensuring that the partner of a partner knows they're their own person, with their own worth. Ensuring everyone is special in their own way.
Some pit in his heart yawns open, sudden and brief, closed up as quickly as it opened. ]
Knowing what I do about him, I can tell you he'll appreciate that, truly and deeply.
What do you want to drink? I'll have it ready for you, whether you come in or not.
But the way that they go about things seems right. As right as he can imagine, if he truly stretches his mind to its limits, at least. Ensuring that the partner of a partner knows they're their own person, with their own worth. Ensuring everyone is special in their own way.
Some pit in his heart yawns open, sudden and brief, closed up as quickly as it opened. ]
Knowing what I do about him, I can tell you he'll appreciate that, truly and deeply.
What do you want to drink? I'll have it ready for you, whether you come in or not.
I just don't know if he understands.
[Eren has failed to make it clear. He knows that.]
Pick something for me. If it tastes good, that's a bonus, I guess.
I'll see you soon.
[Eren has failed to make it clear. He knows that.]
Pick something for me. If it tastes good, that's a bonus, I guess.
I'll see you soon.
[If anyone else had said so? Likely not. Because Maruki is asking?]
I'll try.
I'll try.
[How fucking stupid.
Akechi chokes air out of Eren's lungs and with that limited breath, he begs for more. Leans into more. Lets Akechi squeeze the warmth from his body and take it for himself the only way he's ever known how. Keeps talking. Kiss me. He hates Eren with every fiber of his being. Leans forward to tease a brush of his lips, to curl his fingers into flesh until they go completely numb from the pressure. Eren won't die, but Akechi wishes he would.]
No.
[Whispered against Eren's mouth, featherlight and quiet. An edge of cruelty and mockery in his tone. 'No' muttered again as he forces Eren to close the distance by pulling at his neck, unrelenting in his hold. It's the smallest movement, the shortest distance, but it's an overwhelming sense of power that makes his chest bloom with excitement. It's not the kiss - not even a kiss. Akechi uses Eren to warm his own frigid face. Waits for choked out words he can steal with his own parted lips. It's not a kiss - it's nothing. It's meaningless. It's pathetic - a god practically on his knees for something so fucking worthless.]
Get it from your house of consorts - I'm not among them.
[And he leans back, unclenches his fingers and lets them relax against his neck. Try again.]
Akechi chokes air out of Eren's lungs and with that limited breath, he begs for more. Leans into more. Lets Akechi squeeze the warmth from his body and take it for himself the only way he's ever known how. Keeps talking. Kiss me. He hates Eren with every fiber of his being. Leans forward to tease a brush of his lips, to curl his fingers into flesh until they go completely numb from the pressure. Eren won't die, but Akechi wishes he would.]
No.
[Whispered against Eren's mouth, featherlight and quiet. An edge of cruelty and mockery in his tone. 'No' muttered again as he forces Eren to close the distance by pulling at his neck, unrelenting in his hold. It's the smallest movement, the shortest distance, but it's an overwhelming sense of power that makes his chest bloom with excitement. It's not the kiss - not even a kiss. Akechi uses Eren to warm his own frigid face. Waits for choked out words he can steal with his own parted lips. It's not a kiss - it's nothing. It's meaningless. It's pathetic - a god practically on his knees for something so fucking worthless.]
Get it from your house of consorts - I'm not among them.
[And he leans back, unclenches his fingers and lets them relax against his neck. Try again.]
[All breath is choked out of Eren. Akechi teases at his lips, and he feels warmth bloom low in his stomach, his head going foggy, dizzy. He moves his lips numbly against Akechi's, murmuring without words, taking whatever he can. He's wanted. He's wanted and wanted.
[Eren is released. He's ever human, sucking in a breath, chest heaving for more. He looks at Akechi, eyes wild.]
Once a week. I want you. You...
[Eren is released. He's ever human, sucking in a breath, chest heaving for more. He looks at Akechi, eyes wild.]
Once a week. I want you. You...
[To be wanted From Eren.
A man with no shortage of people to press his lips again - Akechi's infuriated. Doesn't care. Once a week - as if he can be negotiated with him. As if it matters. As if-
A gloved hand around Eren's throat is all he wants. Akechi wonders if he could press a blade to his spine - right now, it would be so simple. The back of his neck is a way to kill him and-
That's where his fingers rest now, against the nape, strands of hair caught under.]
It was a false world that put us together. Don't fall victim to it again - do you really think I'll fall in line with your pathetic little followers?
[Akechi will never give in. Never be his. Never be a numbered door on a goddamn farm. To be wanted - and this is it. To be wanted and it burns hot in his chest. Once a day, once a week - he murmurs against Eren's lips. ]
I won't do it. You've failed - this is where your little indulgence ends. If you try anymore, I'll retaliate.
like this.
From him.A man with no shortage of people to press his lips again - Akechi's infuriated. Doesn't care. Once a week - as if he can be negotiated with him. As if it matters. As if-
A gloved hand around Eren's throat is all he wants. Akechi wonders if he could press a blade to his spine - right now, it would be so simple. The back of his neck is a way to kill him and-
That's where his fingers rest now, against the nape, strands of hair caught under.]
It was a false world that put us together. Don't fall victim to it again - do you really think I'll fall in line with your pathetic little followers?
[Akechi will never give in. Never be his. Never be a numbered door on a goddamn farm. To be wanted - and this is it. To be wanted and it burns hot in his chest. Once a day, once a week - he murmurs against Eren's lips. ]
I won't do it. You've failed - this is where your little indulgence ends. If you try anymore, I'll retaliate.
[Just for a moment, Akira pauses; with his back turned to both of them, the scent of coffee blooming beneath his nose, he allows a furrow to spread between his brows.
Because isn't that just a little too familiar?
Don't those hit just a little too close to home? It's not like those aren't common jobs, but can there really be that many coincidences?
Akira lets it settle, sit, relax somewhere in his sternum. It could be a coincidence; Maruki could just be rattling off businesses he happened to pass on his commutes through Tokyo. Maybe, against all odds, Akira himself told Maruki about his part-time jobs. He can't see why he would continue being so vulnerable, but it seems there are many things he's told him that he never would to anyone else.
He gets out two mugs for coffee. His instincts prickle at the back of his neck, but he soothes them as best he can. Trust. He needs to have it, or at least take a step towards it.]
I appreciate it.
[He does. Even past his own strange feelings, he can still be grateful for it. That Maruki is working so hard to help him, even when Akira doesn't know him. That Eren would help him at all, when he has no reason to.]
These are the places I'll start, then. [His hands are steady as he pours. If there's something like a coffee shop, maybe even a teahouse- but on the other hand. It would be nice to keep that to Maruki's house for a little longer.] Even if they're not the same, they sound similar to a lot of the jobs I held back in Tokyo. And the things I don't know will be nice to learn.
[And it will. That, out of everything, will maybe be the most calming of all... To learn something new. To adapt.
The smell of coffee spreads to the rest of the room as Akira pours a cup for himself and Maruki, bringing it to the table.]
Because isn't that just a little too familiar?
Don't those hit just a little too close to home? It's not like those aren't common jobs, but can there really be that many coincidences?
Akira lets it settle, sit, relax somewhere in his sternum. It could be a coincidence; Maruki could just be rattling off businesses he happened to pass on his commutes through Tokyo. Maybe, against all odds, Akira himself told Maruki about his part-time jobs. He can't see why he would continue being so vulnerable, but it seems there are many things he's told him that he never would to anyone else.
He gets out two mugs for coffee. His instincts prickle at the back of his neck, but he soothes them as best he can. Trust. He needs to have it, or at least take a step towards it.]
I appreciate it.
[He does. Even past his own strange feelings, he can still be grateful for it. That Maruki is working so hard to help him, even when Akira doesn't know him. That Eren would help him at all, when he has no reason to.]
These are the places I'll start, then. [His hands are steady as he pours. If there's something like a coffee shop, maybe even a teahouse- but on the other hand. It would be nice to keep that to Maruki's house for a little longer.] Even if they're not the same, they sound similar to a lot of the jobs I held back in Tokyo. And the things I don't know will be nice to learn.
[And it will. That, out of everything, will maybe be the most calming of all... To learn something new. To adapt.
The smell of coffee spreads to the rest of the room as Akira pours a cup for himself and Maruki, bringing it to the table.]
[ There is a memory–
There is a memory–
Maruki takes the cup. It isn't the same. Akira isn't the same. He isn't the same.
Maybe it's better that way.
He holds it in both hands, props his elbows up on the table to hold it just beneath his chin, steam curling up around his glasses as he smiles at this new Akira and tries his level best to mend his own heart. Beneath the table, he knocks his knee sideways against Eren's and rests it there. ]
You'll learn a lot here. We all have. I'm looking forward to it, Kurusu-kun.
Akira wasn't there. Part of him still doesn't know why he went. A much worse part of him, buried deep in the distorted rot of his own heart, knows all too well. Past the end of summer, not quite yet the beginning of autumn. That no-man's land of time in September when the back of his teeth itched every day with the desire to see Akira again, to tell him about all the work he'd done on his paper over their break, all the work Maruki never would have been able to dream of doing without his influence. The warmth of Leblanc on a cool evening, the best coffee he'd ever tasted, the book he laid out on the counter as if a greater force was guiding his hand.
There is a memory–
Akira was there. The best coffee he'd ever tasted, handed to him right alongside the keys to the collective unconscious. That greater force right before him, bright and honest.
Maruki takes the cup. It isn't the same. Akira isn't the same. He isn't the same.
Maybe it's better that way.
He holds it in both hands, props his elbows up on the table to hold it just beneath his chin, steam curling up around his glasses as he smiles at this new Akira and tries his level best to mend his own heart. Beneath the table, he knocks his knee sideways against Eren's and rests it there. ]
You'll learn a lot here. We all have. I'm looking forward to it, Kurusu-kun.
[Eren was wondering if Akechi might ask - that, or maybe he's recalling his own desire to ask the same question. He's simply thought better of it.]
I don't know him. I only know that you and Maruki know him. That isn't enough for me.
He's polite. That doesn't mean he's genuine.
[And he forgot the person who loves him most in all the world - the one person whom being forgotten is a fate worse than death.
[Eren won't forgive him for that. But it's none of Akechi's business.]
I don't know him. I only know that you and Maruki know him. That isn't enough for me.
He's polite. That doesn't mean he's genuine.
[And he forgot the person who loves him most in all the world - the one person whom being forgotten is a fate worse than death.
[Eren won't forgive him for that. But it's none of Akechi's business.]
I see.
[Something blooms in his chest, equal parts content and irate. Finally, there's someone who doesn't see Kurusu as a paragon of perfection after a single conversation. Annoyance follows after because Akechi and Maruki don't associate with weaklings. He doesn't know where to settle on the neutral assessment. ]
You'll learn more in time, I suppose. He has a way of working himself into the lives of all he associates with. I'm assuming you won't be an exception to that.
He isn't an an unwelcome ally to have in this mess.
[Something blooms in his chest, equal parts content and irate. Finally, there's someone who doesn't see Kurusu as a paragon of perfection after a single conversation. Annoyance follows after because Akechi and Maruki don't associate with weaklings. He doesn't know where to settle on the neutral assessment. ]
You'll learn more in time, I suppose. He has a way of working himself into the lives of all he associates with. I'm assuming you won't be an exception to that.
He isn't an an unwelcome ally to have in this mess.
He's only an ally to me because he's an ally to you. He hasn't worked his way into anything.
I'll fight on his side so long as he fights on yours. That's all I'll guarantee.
I'll fight on his side so long as he fights on yours. That's all I'll guarantee.
Understood. That's all I could ask of you.
[A minute passes. Then two.]
He isn't the type of person who would sell their soul to a captor or stop fighting against an unjust world.
No matter what happens between Maruki, me and him, he will fight to leave this reality. That is an irrefutable fact.
[A minute passes. Then two.]
He isn't the type of person who would sell their soul to a captor or stop fighting against an unjust world.
No matter what happens between Maruki, me and him, he will fight to leave this reality. That is an irrefutable fact.
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