PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[abandonhumanity]

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge the other.

Comments

[headhooligan]

[God, that voice. Aubrey wants that right in her ear while she curls up into him, not caring if there’s alcohol on his breath or if this too would be a truce at best.... Always bittersweet. She really did try to throw it away, for some nebulous “good” that quite clearly hasn’t manifested.]

[Idly she recalls “teasing” from some not-quite-friends, people she’s met and tossed just to pretend she’s not hung up all the same. ‘What, you’re keeping his number so you can take advantage of him?’ It’s a paraphrased jeer, warped by Aubrey’s own gnawing thoughts. She doesn’t speak with these people anymore. (Eren had a hand in that.) If you really loved him you’d stop toying with him like this. That’s cold.]

Miss you, too, I guess. [Muttered into the night.]

[abandonhumanity]

["Toying" is something that Eren has also accused Aubrey of in moments of anger (of which there are many). But he doesn't really feel that way. He and Aubrey are soulmates. That's what he thinks. They can't stay away from each other, and they shouldn't have to. When he's drunk and warm, he can smile into the receiver about it when she says, "Miss you, too, I guess."]

Yeah, I know it.

[When he's somewhere darker, the tone is much different, the desperation more vicious. He's told her more than once what he'd do if she stopped answering his calls, or making those drives; especially cruel and selfish considering what Aubrey has already lost. But he means it too. He needs her. He's never been shy about that...

[For now, though, the fog stays floating above. He's calm.]

You should stay a couple nights. Maybe forever.

[headhooligan]

[“Yeah, I know it.” There’s just… no bluffing with Eren. Ever, really. They know each other too well—or at least Eren’s held onto that, and it gives him the upper hand. Small mercy that, for now, he’s not taking advantage. It’s not like Aubrey hasn’t blamed him for his own spiral, or threatened, in the heat of the moment, not to come back… She’ll swear it even as she pulls him off the brink. Maybe it strokes his ego. Maybe it fucks with his head all the more. It’s become her lifeline, too, in a way.

[Something’s gotta give, eventually. It just can’t be him.]

[—However:] I’m not staying with your friends. [It’s their fault....]

[abandonhumanity]

Luckily for you--

[There's some drunken grunting as he rearranges himself on the concrete. Ironically enough, his next words are:]

I have my own room and everything.

[headhooligan]

[He sure doesn’t sound like he’s in said room.]

What, some little closet you carved out? [It’s meant to insult the “friends” more than anything. Sure could’ve phrased it differently, though…] Frankly, I’d rather not set foot in Floch’s house at all.

[abandonhumanity]

Yeah right. I've got the whole downstairs, basically.

[Perhaps the most annoying thing about Eren's culty friends is that, if they were a cult, he'd be the leader; they worship the ground he walks on.]

There's even a back entrance. Like a separate apartment. Does that help?

[He's knows it won't, which is the fun of asking, of course.]

[headhooligan]

[Well, yes, but. No. No, they’re not supposed to be good to him. They’re fucked-up nightmare people (who he’s known for years) and have nothing to offer but a death spiral (and a good house to land in and post-drink TLC and validation and—)]

Even shadier. I feel like I’m committing a felony just having his address.

it really is floch's bday today

[abandonhumanity]

It's his birthday. You should be nice.

[headhooligan]

Happy birthday, you piece of shit.

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren snickers drunkenly into the receiver.]

God, you're so right though.

[Another potentially frustrating quality; Eren hates his friends almost as much as Aubrey does half the time. And yet.]

[headhooligan]

[Oh, it’s very frustrating. Something something people annoying the shit out of you but you have no choice but to rely on them anyway....]

That’s more like it. [The admission to her being right, that is.] Now tell me you’re leaving his ugly mug and never turning back, and it’s a date.

[abandonhumanity]

You're gonna take me home with you, then?

[headhooligan]

[Set herself up for that one.]

It’s a long three hours.

[That is not anywhere near the territory of an answer.]

[abandonhumanity]

All the more reason to stay close, Bow.

[headhooligan]

You think I’m moving to get closer to Floch Forster? [World’s driest question, just barely not punctuated with a period.]

[abandonhumanity]

What?

[The drunken snickering begins again in earnest.]

No. You're supposed to be saving me from Floch - spiriting me away back home. Duh.

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey, categorically, does not think this is funny.] “Home,” yeah? You’re the one who moved.

[abandonhumanity]

[Will this trigger a fight? He's too drunk to stop and think about it (maybe he wouldn't even if he was sober).]

Nothing left to stick around for.

[His good humor, for the record, appears to be gone.]

[headhooligan]

[Well, fuck her, right.]

[His tone catches her, though.] Come on. [Still vaguely irritated, but reeling it back.] Don’t talk like that.

[abandonhumanity]

Why not? It's true.

[Not because Aubrey's not there, but because she's not his - not anymore. Not in the way that keeps her with him. Only in the way that tears them both apart from the inside out.

[God, no. He's too drunk for this.]

Fine. Fuck. Let's talk about something else.

Don't turn around...

[(Never mind that Armin and Mikasa are both there too. Eren often seems (only seems, mind you) to "forget" about them.]

[headhooligan]

[This is bad. He’s diverting for now, that’s good, but Aubrey immediately gets the sense she should tread carefully. Maybe that’ll escalate in its own right, but whatever. Her little soreness doesn’t matter now.]

Of course I won’t. [Not teasing anymore.] How’s the basement. [A little too stilted to sound like a question, but an actual question nonetheless.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Misunderstanding the question, he grumbles into the receiver, both sleepy and drunk-sounding.]

M'outside.

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey sighs. Not as world-weary as the ones Eren usually gets these days, but intentionally audible nonetheless.] Okay. How’s outside?

[abandonhumanity]

Cold and wet-- wait.

[Shuffling noises.]

Is it raining? Shit.

[headhooligan]

[Bit dryly:] Then go inside.