PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[abandonhumanity]

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge the other.

Comments

[abandonhumanity]

[He frowns just slightly as she says this, more as if in thought than distress. "You told me to wait for you..." Her words awaken the memory of his plea. He's not sure what he was dreaming about, or where he was afraid she might go, or what she might do without him...

[But the sheer need with which he asked, "Wait for me..." felt all-consuming.]

You didn't leave my side...

Not once.

[headhooligan]

Of course I didn’t.

[It’s a little searching; mostly reassuring. Does he remember what she said before…?]

I guess you thought I would, but… no. [She lowers one hand, only to lace it through his.] I wouldn’t, and I won’t.

[Not in a million years.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Her words are as soothing as ever. Growing up, Eren was given a decent idea of what a good marriage should look like; his and Aubrey's really isn't anything like that, if he's honest with himself, but the fact that she can soothe her husband when he feels dread creeping in is an important factor, he thinks.

[He might not be a good husband, but she's a good wife.]

I don't know what I thought. A lot of it doesn't make sense...

It was like a dream that wouldn't end.

[And to that end, he seems to realize something.]

You kept walking away from me...

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey only scarcely knows what a good marriage looks like—not in reality, away from glossy screens and fairytale promises. The best two she knows still managed to fuck their kids up. She’s a lot more familiar, really, with what a marriage shouldn’t look like.

[It’s not a collar. But it’s not walking away, either. Fucking anything but that.]

[She squeezes his hand, resolute.] Never.

[An involuntary echo: “Ever since her father left…” An anonymized judgment, whispering yet all too loud.]

[Firmly:] No matter what this world throws at us.

[abandonhumanity]

[She squeezes his hand, and he squeezes hers. It's a familiar affirmation by now, but meaningful all the same; regardless of that, though:]

It seems like you might want to talk about something.

[He heard that echo.]

[headhooligan]

[A brief sigh.] Not really, but…

[Well, the smile was nice while it lasted. Bandaid treatment it is, then…]

I know a lot of couples who just… one or both of them, they give up. Walk away. Like everything suddenly doesn’t matter…

I mean [lest the world pull anything], I’ve tried it. But it doesn’t work. And even if it did, somehow…

I’m not walking away from you.

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren knows very well the pain of walking away. He's been the one walking, and he's been the one walked away from. He couldn't picture either scenario with Aubrey; still, fear tugs at something buried deep within his gut. He couldn't have pictured it with Armin either, nor with Reiner - not at the time. Not before it suddenly made sense.

[All at once, he pulls Aubrey against his chest - quick, desperate. He wraps his arms around her.]

pretend there’s a link to random questions in here

[headhooligan]

[She’s not sure what prompted this, so abruptly, but she’s not complaining. Never will, close like this; she pulls her arms around him, too.

[And yet, something about it…]

…Is there something you want to talk about?

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren might be - certainly is, in fact - more open to talking about things with Aubrey than he is with anyone else; still, being asked so directly begs for pushback. He's gotten so used to hiding how he feels - it's the honesty that's new to him.

[And he doesn't exactly want to tell her that--

['I have a habit of walking away first.'

[He should know better by now.]

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey holds him tighter, before a desperation of her own can sink in.]

[You won’t.]

Even if you try, I… I’ll be there. [Is it an addendum? A counter? A threat, a promise....]

[Lest he forget why he started to care, after all. Aubrey tried to “walk” first, once.]

I will always find you.

[abandonhumanity]

Promise me...

Please.

[headhooligan]

Always. Always.

[Hell, even if the world itself tries to stop her… she’s made her way back to him before. She’ll do it again. And again. And again.]

I promise.

[abandonhumanity]

I wouldn't want to.

No matter what I might say, or do...I'd never want that. Not really.

[headhooligan]

[A pause.]

[She pulls both hands back to his face, and seals her promise with a kiss.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Will it ever get easier, being this honest? He never used to struggle with it. So much has changed. It's a vulnerable, borderline miserable feeling.

[But he trusts her. When they pull away, he starts the game again.]

Safe.

[headhooligan]

[She’d almost forgotten about the game, actually. But his word has her smiling again.]

Close. [She keeps his face in her hands.]

the ico--

[abandonhumanity]

Together.

[He takes her face in return, thumbs lovingly stroking.]

they’re in love, brent!!

[headhooligan]

[God, that will never not feel good. She runs her own thumbs down his cheekbones, soft where titan-ripped flesh once left its mark. So much is behind them now… and from where they are, here and now, it feels like they could stay like this] Forever.

[abandonhumanity]

[Forever. Just like Armin said. Just like Aubrey is saying. Just like Mikasa yearns for.

[Can forever happen now? He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve it. But Eren is, at his core, selfish. He's glad for it.

[He'd forgotten for so long what hope felt like.]

Always.

[headhooligan]

[It’s happening whether they want it to or not, isn’t it?]

[This is Hell. And they have each other.]

[She tugs for his forehead to press against hers.] I love you.

[abandonhumanity]

You know...

[He lets their foreheads rest. He kisses her lips.]

I never used to say that.

[headhooligan]

Yeah?

[She kisses him.]

Me neither.

[She kisses him.]

I like it, though.

[She kisses him, again, longer. As if none of it will ever be enough.]

[abandonhumanity]

Yeah...

[He kisses her, he kisses her, he kisses her. Talking with your mouth is overrated, actually. There are better uses to put it to.]

'I like it too. With you.'

[headhooligan]

“You, too....”

[So it goes again, then. Aubrey loves it, she loves this, she loves Eren. Her hands run through his hair, pull at his neck, cradle his nape. She’s content with this, more than.

[A thought escapes her this time, though: More.]

[abandonhumanity]

['More.' Aubrey's thought is echoed immediately, a call and response. Eren deepens the kiss on instinct, hands gripping tighter where they already lay - her face, her waist.]

"More what...?" [There's some expectation to that thought - wishful thinking, maybe.]