PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[abandonhumanity]

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge the other.

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[abandonhumanity]

[In ways, Eren has always been a "means to an end" kind of person; end the cycle of suffering - that goal never really changed, only warped into a new, horrifying shape. When he was younger, he'd hoped for a beginning to follow that end; freedom for himself, for humanity, for the people that he loved - opening the cage and taking the free world into their hands.

[When the end really came, all he wanted was to raze it all to dust, to crush the world that disappointed him so.

[And now, here - "possibility". It's...]

Overwhelming.

[headhooligan]

[She can understand that, in a sense. Seems like every time they’ve figured out this world, it has some devious new twist. Getting used to it all over again is a necessisity and a coping mechanism.

[At the same time… Aubrey’s found something resembling peace, here. Laughter, smiles, dreams, kisses on the docks. Eren—Eren. It’s overwhelming, sure… but she doesn’t dread it, not in this moment.]

Challenge.

[She reaches for his hand, a silent promise. They’ll face it together.]

[abandonhumanity]

[She reaches for his hand, and he takes hers - he will always, always take her hand when she reaches for him. 'Behold my vow.']

You remind me of how I used to be.

[headhooligan]

[>:P, along with] You’re not following the rules, silly. […although even that’s not too teasing. (Besides, Aubrey? A rule-follower?) They’re holding hands again. He’s awake. They’re talking.

Behold mine. [It’s enough to override, at least for the moment, how loaded that comparison is, too. She’s still smiling.] I missed talking with you.

the icon the icon the icon--

[abandonhumanity]

I've never been very good at following rules.

[He leans forward to kiss the top of her head; and he loves her, he loves her, he loves her.]

I didn't miss it. You did talk to me.

I remember.

the!!!!!

[headhooligan]

[And, no sooner is he done, she cups his face and reaches to kiss back. She loves him, she loves him, she loves him....]

You know what I mean. [But it’s true.] I like it better when you talk back. You know, out loud.

VERY important specification

[abandonhumanity]

[With the raise of an eyebrow, some very genuine curiosity:]

Did I talk back much? In our heads?

[headhooligan]

Hah… little bit.

[It was a bittersweet conversation. But a response was, and is, a response, and Aubrey wouldn’t trade it for anything.]

I think you heard everything, even if you didn’t say much.... You, ah. [Her cheeks redden somewhat.] You told me to wait for you…

[Among other things. Capability, being sorry, missing, missing, missing. But there’s less to miss, right now. Eren is here.]

And I always will.

[abandonhumanity]

[He frowns just slightly as she says this, more as if in thought than distress. "You told me to wait for you..." Her words awaken the memory of his plea. He's not sure what he was dreaming about, or where he was afraid she might go, or what she might do without him...

[But the sheer need with which he asked, "Wait for me..." felt all-consuming.]

You didn't leave my side...

Not once.

[headhooligan]

Of course I didn’t.

[It’s a little searching; mostly reassuring. Does he remember what she said before…?]

I guess you thought I would, but… no. [She lowers one hand, only to lace it through his.] I wouldn’t, and I won’t.

[Not in a million years.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Her words are as soothing as ever. Growing up, Eren was given a decent idea of what a good marriage should look like; his and Aubrey's really isn't anything like that, if he's honest with himself, but the fact that she can soothe her husband when he feels dread creeping in is an important factor, he thinks.

[He might not be a good husband, but she's a good wife.]

I don't know what I thought. A lot of it doesn't make sense...

It was like a dream that wouldn't end.

[And to that end, he seems to realize something.]

You kept walking away from me...

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey only scarcely knows what a good marriage looks like—not in reality, away from glossy screens and fairytale promises. The best two she knows still managed to fuck their kids up. She’s a lot more familiar, really, with what a marriage shouldn’t look like.

[It’s not a collar. But it’s not walking away, either. Fucking anything but that.]

[She squeezes his hand, resolute.] Never.

[An involuntary echo: “Ever since her father left…” An anonymized judgment, whispering yet all too loud.]

[Firmly:] No matter what this world throws at us.

[abandonhumanity]

[She squeezes his hand, and he squeezes hers. It's a familiar affirmation by now, but meaningful all the same; regardless of that, though:]

It seems like you might want to talk about something.

[He heard that echo.]

[headhooligan]

[A brief sigh.] Not really, but…

[Well, the smile was nice while it lasted. Bandaid treatment it is, then…]

I know a lot of couples who just… one or both of them, they give up. Walk away. Like everything suddenly doesn’t matter…

I mean [lest the world pull anything], I’ve tried it. But it doesn’t work. And even if it did, somehow…

I’m not walking away from you.

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren knows very well the pain of walking away. He's been the one walking, and he's been the one walked away from. He couldn't picture either scenario with Aubrey; still, fear tugs at something buried deep within his gut. He couldn't have pictured it with Armin either, nor with Reiner - not at the time. Not before it suddenly made sense.

[All at once, he pulls Aubrey against his chest - quick, desperate. He wraps his arms around her.]

pretend there’s a link to random questions in here

[headhooligan]

[She’s not sure what prompted this, so abruptly, but she’s not complaining. Never will, close like this; she pulls her arms around him, too.

[And yet, something about it…]

…Is there something you want to talk about?

[abandonhumanity]

[Eren might be - certainly is, in fact - more open to talking about things with Aubrey than he is with anyone else; still, being asked so directly begs for pushback. He's gotten so used to hiding how he feels - it's the honesty that's new to him.

[And he doesn't exactly want to tell her that--

['I have a habit of walking away first.'

[He should know better by now.]

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey holds him tighter, before a desperation of her own can sink in.]

[You won’t.]

Even if you try, I… I’ll be there. [Is it an addendum? A counter? A threat, a promise....]

[Lest he forget why he started to care, after all. Aubrey tried to “walk” first, once.]

I will always find you.

[abandonhumanity]

Promise me...

Please.

[headhooligan]

Always. Always.

[Hell, even if the world itself tries to stop her… she’s made her way back to him before. She’ll do it again. And again. And again.]

I promise.

[abandonhumanity]

I wouldn't want to.

No matter what I might say, or do...I'd never want that. Not really.

[headhooligan]

[A pause.]

[She pulls both hands back to his face, and seals her promise with a kiss.]

[abandonhumanity]

[Will it ever get easier, being this honest? He never used to struggle with it. So much has changed. It's a vulnerable, borderline miserable feeling.

[But he trusts her. When they pull away, he starts the game again.]

Safe.

[headhooligan]

[She’d almost forgotten about the game, actually. But his word has her smiling again.]

Close. [She keeps his face in her hands.]

the ico--

[abandonhumanity]

Together.

[He takes her face in return, thumbs lovingly stroking.]