Eren Jaeger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
abandonhumanity) wrote2023-09-26 12:38 pm
abandonhumanity) wrote2023-09-26 12:38 pm
PSL / MEME CONTINUATION
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one,
I will indulge the other.
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I know.
I don't either.
[Of course he doesn't, and the alcohol running through his system still beckons honesty.
[Surely she doesn't need to be reminded again of what he is. He doesn't want to go back to that conversation. Not tonight. Not their wedding night. He can allow them this peace a little longer, can't he? He says what he thinks before the universe can - he tries.]
It's a promise, Aubrey. Wherever I go. Whatever that might mean.
["Here, or home, or anywhere. My oath will endure under any circumstance."]
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I don’t want you to go.
[It’s not about the oath. It’s about you leaving.]
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[A light but familiar impatience. His head is starting to swim again.]
I haven’t left.
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[Then stop talking like you w]Never mind.
[A pause.
[Quiet, mercifully.]
[Aubrey’s smile has faded by now. She leans her head on her husband’s chest.]
Just… ignore that, for now.
You’re drunk. Let’s just… rest.
[Or my stupid insecurity is going to ruin this.]
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We can't ruin this. [It's still sacred. It's still true. It's still right. The vows can't be taken back - won't be. And they are still each other's.
[His arms come to wrap protectively around Aubrey once again, her head to his chest, just how it's meant to be.]
["Happiness. That's what I felt. How long has it been?"]
Enough of that, then.
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I want you to be happy.
[With her own hands out of his hold—colder, now, every time—they reach around his back. She feels small.]
I want to make you happy.
[‘So you won’t leave. Ever.’]
That’s all.
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[What he says, however, is just as honest. Somehow, some leftover reverence still cradles his words.]
You're the only thing left that can.
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[She knows she’s not the first—but Eren didn’t marry any of them, did he? It’s a bittersweet thought, still. Yet that, and the lingering reverence, satiate the beast.]
[Of course he couldn’t go anywhere. Aubrey’s the only one who can tell him to stop, stay—to heal at her side.]
[If he’s happy, and even if that makes her a “thing,” well…]
Good. [A hushed, almost-reverent whisper. She clings to him.] I will.
[“I’d give my life to try.”]
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["I don't want anyone giving their life for me."]
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I would’ve said “devote.”
[Does that really make it better?]
Eren…
What do you want?
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[It's an easy answer, isn't it? It's always been the same - ever since the day he was born.]
Freedom.
[For me. For you. For Armin and Mikasa. For every Paradis Eldian. For everyone I love.
[All I've ever wanted is freedom.]
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[That’s…
[Well.
[What else was she expecting, really?]
[Aubrey closes her eyes. She wonders if a hand has stayed on Eren’s heart, too, or if a different name has left it marred, or something else entirely. Their vows match from ring to arm. Surely it’s always gone further… right…?]
[What she wants to say is, ‘Okay.’ Eren almost makes it sound that way.
[Instead: Let’s just… enjoy this. As if there can ever be a “just,” with them.
[Please.]
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[Let's just enjoy this, then.
[He's actually allowed to here.
[He leans forward, kissing the top of her pink head.]
Always, Aubrey Jaeger.
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[“Aubrey Jaeger,” again… It’s as close as she can get, for now, to this softness making the rest melt away.
[Close. Not enough.]
[Still, Aubrey Jaeger pulls back just enough to lean up, kiss back, and then sinks into Eren’s arms again. Why is she so tired....]
Always, Eren Jaeger.
Always.