abandonhumanity | PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[He's leaving.]

Stop...

[Eren strains again at the chains, but it's less than half-hearted. His voice sounds weak, hoarse.]

Stop...

[She holds him. The lock on his neck only somewhat softens.]

[They are the same. She should know how much this kills him.

[They’re not the same at all. He’d kill Reiner; he’d break himself to spite his reflection.

[Aubrey can’t allow that. Even if he tried to hurt her, she holds him.]

Easy....

[There's an awful, thick, painful lump in Eren's throat. Reiner continues to walk away, but he never actually disappears. He just leaves, and leaves, and leaves, and leaves, and Eren feels like his body is condensing and collapsing.

[If he could only see his face...In Liberio, they talked. He heard Reiner Braun's familiar voice. Their hearts beat in the same quiet room.

[He wants to hear his voice again.

[He's stopped struggling. His hands are both broken. Pain radiates up both arms. It's enough to make him feel nauseous; still only a man at the end of the day. They'll heal soon enough...]

Bastard.

[It's a final curse. He feels encumbered by grief.]

[A memory, as kind and warm as any home. Eren can feel it overtaking him; that means it'll be on display for Aubrey and Mikasa too. He almost can't bring himself to care.

[He wants to see it. He wants to be there.

["I have to get stronger." Eren Jaeger has tears in his eyes. His breathing is erratic. He's never been prone to panic attacks, and yet, here they are. His hands are tightly gripping Reiner Braun's wrists; Reiner is gently gripping Eren's shoulders.

["You will, Eren. You're doing fine."

["I can't just do fine, I have to...to..." He struggles for words. He still feels like he can't breathe. Reiner's strong hands squeeze at his shoulders, then massage with pressure. It makes Eren close his eyes, head falling forward like it's heavy. Pressing his face into Reiner's chest, the older boy wraps his arms around him.

["I get it." Reiner's voice is gentle. "The pressure is insane. Especially for you." Eren starts to speak, but Reiner kisses the top of his head, and he dissolves.

[His voice is choked with emotion. "I can't just leave it to someone else. I can't. If I can't hack it - if I can't be a Scout, then--" He cuts himself off with a shudder, a would-be-but-not-quite sob. When he speaks again, it's a whimper of words. "My mom...Reiner, I can't - I-I have to."

["I know." It's such a warm voice; deep, strong, grounding. In Eren's memory, he takes a breath; back in the present, his body echoes it perfectly. A slow inhale, a slower exhale.

["If anyone can do it, Eren, it's you." Reiner leans away, tucking a finger under Eren's chin to raise his head. They stare at each other. Admiration flows from Eren - love, pure love. Like the person sitting in front of him is everything all at once. "You're gonna save humanity, huh?" Reiner kisses the tip of his nose. "I know you can."

[A moment of silence. The visual part of the memory ends; their voices are left behind. Eren's, whispering, "Do you really love me?"

[Reiner's, whispering back, "Yeah. I do."]

[Mikasa has tears in her eyes. Eren, kneeling, wrists broken, head hung. He's the boy she's always known. She could kill Reiner in that moment. How could she ever have even begun to forgive him?

[She never knew that they...?

[And Aubrey - the mysterious Aubrey, who threw her arms around Eren Jaeger and told him to stop...and he did.

[She feels...admiration for that. It stings, of course, but...Mikasa's never been able to reign him in. It's good that there's someone who can...

[Her heart breaks in a million little ways.]

Eren...

I'm so sorry...

[The depths of that betrayal; Eren crying about his mother to the man responsible for her death. It's all too much.]

[All that… and Reiner walked away. For a moment it’s almost as though the emotions were shared once more; how can he just…?! At least face what you’ve made. Coward. Bastard. Aubrey almost can’t believe she commiserated with—

[Almost. Mikasa’s voice reminds her where they are, what’s happening. And ultimately, it’s heartbreak, all the way down.]

[Aubrey doesn’t let go of Eren, but her grip lowers, loosens; a hug, now. A quick squeeze, and then her left arm runs down his, trailing gently until her fingers run around the shackle’s edge. There’s nothing Aubrey can say that Mikasa hasn’t. But maybe, just as Armin did before, these chains too can fall away.]

[Aubrey's instincts are correct. The chains do fall away as she touches them. Eren's hands look mangled. They're already starting to heal, but it isn't pleasant. That really hurt...

[Reiner Braun is gone. The memory is over. Eren's heart is empty.

[He should be humiliated. Maybe part of him still is, or will be later. Right now, he just...wants to sleep. Something like that...He feels drained and cold.

[Is he still angry at Aubrey? He can't tell. He wants to reach up, to latch onto her arms with his hands, to hold on tight; he can't yet.

[He feels Mikasa on his other side, pressing her body against him, laying her head on his shoulder; Aubrey's warmth on one side, hers on the other.

["Do you really love me?"

[His voice comes out soft like a whisper.]

Is there anyone else...?

Anyone?

[He really destroyed his hands.... Aubrey plants a soft kiss at Eren’s nape, then sits beside him, close. She doesn’t lean, not like Mikasa; she might, soon, but Aubrey feels strangely like she’s been flattened, weary and drained, and she wants to stay steady for just a little longer. Eren needs her more, anyway, she thinks.

[So instead Aubrey clasps Eren’s hand in both of hers. It’s a delicate thing. As if anything too much would break it irreversibly.]

[“Anyone…?”

[Aubrey shakes her head, small.] It’s just us. [A whisper of an answer.

[She hopes it’s enough.]

[It's odd.

[He feels grateful.]

Okay.

PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

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2/3 gee what's taking pan so long I wonder what he's writing

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