[Eren is so used to Aubrey being exposed to his memories. In the barracks, when he thought of Reiner, when he felt that overwhelming hatred, the cruel sting of betrayal, the painful longing of a first, lost love - Aubrey felt all of it.
[Eren feels this. Basil, his friend-- her friend. Someone she loved - maybe more than anything. Someone who needed her. Someone who hurt her with selfish actions - retribution that she took too far. The last time he saw him-- the last time she saw him, she carelessly pushed him into a lake. He reached out for her, searching for a lifeline, anything to feel like they could still have some semblance of the connection they'd once had - and she betrayed him, rejected him, hurt him so deeply that he never recovered.
[Eren remembers the feeling of Basil's neck snapping and feels sick. It's a terrible sight - what should be inside, out; gardening shears - gardening shears, dull and heavy and plunged into his guts.
[Yes, Eren knows this feeling. Eren knows what it means to take the life of a friend. Eren knows the weight of responsibility - for him, it's far heavier than the weight of 80%. He knows it so well. He knows it too well. He wants to see Basil. He wants to say he's sorry. For what? Throttling him like a doll? Or pushing him into a lake?
[He sinks to his knees beside Aubrey, tries to pull her close against his chest like he does when he can no longer bear the weight of how much he loves her. When he closes his eyes, he feels tears stinging.
[This is her sin. It's only one person - hardly 80% - but it matters. It matters more, maybe. It's the life of a friend. It doesn't feel inevitable. It doesn't feel pathetic. It feels real, and raw, and so uniquely painful that there's no denying its gravity.]
Aubrey...
[His voice is weak, as if he were the one mourning.]
no subject
[Eren feels this. Basil, his friend-- her friend. Someone she loved - maybe more than anything. Someone who needed her. Someone who hurt her with selfish actions - retribution that she took too far. The last time he saw him-- the last time she saw him, she carelessly pushed him into a lake. He reached out for her, searching for a lifeline, anything to feel like they could still have some semblance of the connection they'd once had - and she betrayed him, rejected him, hurt him so deeply that he never recovered.
[Eren remembers the feeling of Basil's neck snapping and feels sick. It's a terrible sight - what should be inside, out; gardening shears - gardening shears, dull and heavy and plunged into his guts.
[Yes, Eren knows this feeling. Eren knows what it means to take the life of a friend. Eren knows the weight of responsibility - for him, it's far heavier than the weight of 80%. He knows it so well. He knows it too well. He wants to see Basil. He wants to say he's sorry. For what? Throttling him like a doll? Or pushing him into a lake?
[He sinks to his knees beside Aubrey, tries to pull her close against his chest like he does when he can no longer bear the weight of how much he loves her. When he closes his eyes, he feels tears stinging.
[This is her sin. It's only one person - hardly 80% - but it matters. It matters more, maybe. It's the life of a friend. It doesn't feel inevitable. It doesn't feel pathetic. It feels real, and raw, and so uniquely painful that there's no denying its gravity.]
Aubrey...
[His voice is weak, as if he were the one mourning.]
I understand...